265. John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah.

 265. John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah. 29th August 1945. 1 Jesus is alone with Matthew, who, having hurt his foot, has not been able to go and preach with the others. Invalids and people anxious to hear the doctrine of the Gospel have crowded the terrace and the free area of the kitchen garden, to hear Jesus and receive assistance. Jesus ends speaking saying: « We have meditated together on Solomon's great sentence: “The greatest strength lies in the abundance of justice” and I now exhort you to have such abundance, because it is money to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Be with My peace and may God be with you. » He then turns to the poor and the sick – in many cases the same person is both – and He kindly listens to what they tell Him, He assists with money, advises with words, cures them by imposing His hands and by His words. Matthew, who is beside Him, sees to the alms in money. 2 Jesus is attentively listening to a poor widow who weeping informs Him of the sudden death of her husband, a carpenter, at his work bench, only a few days previously: « I ran here looking for You, and all the relatives of my dead husband accused me of being unbecoming and hard-hearted and they now curse me. But I came because I know that You can raise people from death and I also know that if I had found You, my husband would have risen again. But You were not here... He has now been buried two weeks... and I am here with five children... Our relatives hate me and do not help me. I have some olive-tree and vines. They are only a few, but they would give me bread for the winter months, if I could only keep them until harvest time. But I have no money, because my husband was ill for some time and worked very little and he ate and drank even too much to support himself. He used to say that wine did him good... but it brought about double trouble as it killed him and used up all our savings, which were already scanty because of his work. He was just finishing a cart and a chest and he had orders for two beds, some tables and shelves. But now... They are not finished and my boy is not yet eight years old. I shall lose the money... I shall have to sell the tools and the wood. I cannot sell the cart and the chest as such, although they are almost finished, and I shall have to give them as 265.John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah. 420 firewood. And the money will not be enough, because I, my old mother, who is also ill, and five children are seven all together... I will sell the vineyard and the olive-trees... But You know what the world is like... They fleece you when they know that you are in need. Tell me, what shall I do? I wanted to keep the bench and tools for my son, who is already capable of doing some work with wood... and I wanted to keep the land to live on and as a dowry for my daughters... » Jesus is listening to all that when the confusion of the crowd warns Him that something is happening. He turns round and sees three men who are elbowing their way through the crowd. He turns round to the widow again to ask her: « Where do you live? » « At Korazim, near the road to the Warm fountain. A low house between two fig trees. » « Very well. I will come and finish the cart and the chest and you will sell them to those who ordered them. Wait for Me tomorrow at dawn. » « What? You are going to work for me! » the woman is choking with amazement. « I will resume My work and bring you peace. And in the meantime I will give a lesson on charity to the heartless people of Korazim. » « Yes! They have no hearts! If only old Isaac were there! He would not have let me die of starvation. But he has gone back to Abraham... » « Do not weep. Do not worry. Here is what you need for today, I will come tomorrow. Go in peace. » The woman stoops to kiss His tunic and she is somewhat relieved when she goes away. 3 « Three times holy Master, may I greet You? » asks one of the three men who have just arrived and have stopped respectfully behind Jesus, waiting for Him to dismiss the woman, and have thus heard Jesus' promise. The man who has greeted Jesus is Manaen. Jesus turns around and smiling says: « Peace to you, Manaen! So you have remembered Me? » « Always, Master. And I had planned to come to see You in Lazarus' house or at the Garden of Gethsemane and stay with You. But the Baptist was captured before Passover. He was recaptured by treachery and I was afraid that Herodias might order the holy man to be killed during the absence of Herod, who had come to Jerusalem for Passover. She refused to go to Zion for the Festivity saying that she was not well. It is true, she was ill... of hatred and lust... I was at Machaerus to control the situation and check the wicked woman who is capable of killing with her own hand... And she does not do so because she is afraid of losing Herod's favour who... either because he is afraid or he is convinced, defends John, confining his action to keeping him in prison. Herodias has now escaped from the oppressing heat at Machaerus and she has gone to a castle of her own property. So I came with these friends of mine and disciples of John. He sent them that they may ask You some questions. And I joined them. » When the crowd hear the man speak of Herod and they understand who is speaking, they press curiously round the little group of Jesus and the three men. « What did you want to ask Me? » asks Jesus after exchanging greetings with the two austere personages. « You had better speak, Manaen, since you know everything and you are more friendly » says one of the two. « Well, Master. You must be indulgent if out of excess of love these disciples look suspiciously at Him Whom they believe to be the antagonist or the supplanter of their master. Your disciples do so as well as John's. It is an understandable jealousy that proves all the love of the disciples for their masters... I am... impartial, and these who are with me can confirm it, because I know You and John and I love you both with justice, so much so that, although I love You for what You are, I preferred to sacrifice myself and stay with John, because I respect him as well for what he is, and at the present moment, because he is in greater danger than You are. Now, because of their love, which the Pharisees are instigating with their hatred, they have come to doubt that You are the Messiah. And they told John thinking that they would fill him with joy by saying: “As far as we are concerned you are the Messiah. There cannot be anyone holier than you are.” But John reproached them calling them first of all blasphemers, and then, after rebuking them, he more kindly explained the various facts that prove that You are the true Messiah. Finally, when he realised that they were still not convinced, he took two of them, these ones here, and said: “Go to Him and say to Him in my name: 'Are You the One Who is to 265.John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah. 421 come, or shall we wait for another one? '” He did not send the shepherd disciples, because they believe and it would have been of no avail to send them. But he chose amongst those who are doubtful to let them approach You, so that their word may dispel the doubts of their companions. I brought them here so that I could see You as well. That is all. I beg You to dispel their doubt. » 4 « But do not think that we are hostile to You, Master! Manaen's words might make You think so. We... We have known the Baptist for years and we have always seen him to be holy, penitent, inspired. You... we know You only through the words of other people. And You know what the words of man are worth... They build up and destroy fame and praises in the contrast between those who exalt and those who demolish, as a cloud is formed and dissolved by contrasting winds. » « I know. I read in your souls and your eyes can read the truth in what surrounds you, just as your ears heard My conversation with the widow. That should be enough to convince you. But I say to you: look at those who are around Me. There are no rich, or jolly or scandalous people here; but only poor, sick, honest Israelites who are anxious to know the Word of God. Nothing else. This man, that one, this woman, and that little girl, that old man, were ill when they came here, and now they are sound and healthy. Ask them and they will tell you what was wrong with them, how I cured them and how they are feeling now. Do so. And in the meantime I will speak to Manaen » and Jesus is about to withdraw. « No, Master. We do not doubt Your words. Just give us a reply to take back to John, that he may know that we came here, and on the strength of it he may convince our companions. » « Go and report this to John: “The deaf hear; this girl was deaf and dumb. The dumb speak; and that man was dumb since his birth. The blind see.” Man, come here. Tell these men what was wrong with you » says Jesus taking a miraculously cured man by the arm. The man says: « I am a mason and a pail full of quicklime fell on my face. It burnt my eyes. I was four years in the dark. The Messiah wetted my dry eyes with His saliva and they have become fresher than when I was twenty years old. May He be blessed for it. » Jesus resumes: « And with the blind, the deaf, the dumb who have been cured, the lame walk straight, the cripple run. Over there is that old man, a short while ago he was contracted, now he is as straight as a palm tree in the desert, and as agile as a gazelle. The most serious diseases are cured. Woman, what was the matter with you? » « I had trouble with my breast for giving too much milk to voracious mouths. And my illness ate not only into my breast but also into my life. Look now » and opening her dress she shows her wholesome breasts and adds: « They were one big sore, as you can see from my tunic which is still soaked with pus. I am now going home to put on a clean dress and I feel strong and am happy. Whilst only yesterday I was dying and I was brought here by compassionate friends, and I was so unhappy... because of my children who were about to be left motherless. Eternal praise to the Saviour! » « Do you hear? And you can ask the head of the synagogue of this town with regard to the resurrection of his daughter, and on your way back to Jericho, go to Nain, and ask for the young man who rose again in the presence of the whole town when they were going to put him into his grave. You will thus be able to report that dead people rise again from the dead. You will be able to find out in many places in Israel that a large number of lepers have been cured, but if you wish to go to Sicaminon you will find many among the disciples, if you look for them. Tell John, therefore, that lepers are cleansed. And tell him, as you can see, that the Gospel is announced to the poor. And blessed are those who will not be scandalised in Me. Tell John that. And tell him that I bless him with all My love. » « Thank You, Master. Bless us as well, before our departure. » « You cannot leave in this warm hour. Stay here, therefore, as My guests, until evening. You will live for one day the life of this Master Who is not John, but loves John because He knows who he is. Come into the house. It is cool and it will restore you. Goodbye, My listeners. Peace be with you » and after dismissing the crowd He enters the house with the three guests... 5 ... What they have said to one another during those sweltering hours I do not know. What I now see is the preparation for the departure to Jericho of the two disciples. Manaen is apparently staying, because they have not brought his horse with the two strong donkeys to the opening in the wall of the yard. The two messengers of John, after bowing several times to the Master and Manaen, mount their donkeys and look back saluting until they disappear round a comer. Many people of Capernaum have gathered together to see the departure because 265.John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah. 422 the news of the visit of John's disciples and of Jesus' reply to them had spread through the village and I think it reached nearby towns as well. I see people from Bethsaida and Korazim, who introduced themselves to John's messengers, asking after him and to be remembered to him – they are perhaps ex-disciples of the Baptist – who are now chatting together with the people of Capernaum, making their comments. Jesus is about to enter the house while speaking to Manaen who is beside Him. But people press round Him, anxious to see Herod's foster-brother and his respectful manners to Jesus, and to speak to Jesus at the same time. There is also Jairus, the head of the synagogue. But, thanks be to God, there are no Pharisees. And it is Jairus who remarks: « John will be glad! You have sent him not only an exhaustive answer, but, by keeping them here, You have also been able to teach them and show them a miracle. » « And it was not a little one, either! » exclaims a man. « I deliberately brought my little daughter here today, that they might see her. She has never been so well and it is a great joy for her to come to the Master. And did you hear her reply? “I do not remember what death is. But I remember that an angel called me and he took me through a brighter and brighter light at the end of which there was Jesus. And I do not see him now as I saw Him then with my soul that was coming back to me. You and I now see the Man. But my soul saw the God Who is closed in the Man.” And how good she has become since then! She was good. But now she is a real angel. Ah! they can say what they like, but as far as I am concerned, no one is holy but You! » « But John is holy, too » says a man of Bethsaida. « Yes. But he is too severe. » « Not more with others than he is with himself. » « But he does not work miracles and they say that he fasts to be like a magician. » « And yet he is a saint » and the petty quarrel spreads among the crowd. Jesus raises His hand stretching it out in His usual gesture asking for silence and attention when He wants to speak. The crowd become silent at once. 6 Jesus says: « John is holy and great. Do not consider his way of behaving or the lack of miracles. I solemnly tell you: “He is a great one in the Kingdom of God.” He will appear there in all his grandeur. Many complain that he was and still is so severe as to appear rude. I tell you solemnly that he has worked like a giant to prepare the ways of the Lord. And he who works like that has no time for softness. Did he not repeat, when he was along the Jordan, the words of Isaiah, by which he and the Messiah are prophesied: “Let every valley be filled in, every mountain and hill be laid low, let every cliff become a plain, and the ridges a valley” in order to prepare the ways to the Lord and King? He really did more than the whole of Israel to prepare My way! And he who has to lay mountains low and fill in valleys and straighten roads and make ridges become plains can but work rudely, because he was the Precursor and he preceded Me by only a few months and everything was to be done before the Sun was high on the day of Redemption. And this is the time, the Sun is rising to shine on Zion and thence on the whole world. John has prepared the way as he had to do. What did you go to see in the wilderness? A reed swaying in every direction in the breeze? But what did go to see? A man clad in fine soft clothes? But those live in the palaces of kings, wearing fine clothes and respected by many servants and courtiers, and they are courtiers themselves of a poor man. There is one here. Ask him whether he is not disgusted with the life at Court and whether he admires the solitary rugged rock that is struck in vain by thunderbolts and scourged by hailstones, and against which silly winds struggle endeavouring to demolish it, while it stands firm, thrusting its whole being towards the sky, with its top proclaiming the joy of altitude, straight as it is and sharp like a rising flame. That is John. That is how Manaen sees him, because he has understood the truth of life and death and he can see grandeur where it really is, even if it be hidden under a wild appearance. And what did you see in John when you went to see him? A prophet? A saint? I will tell you: He is more than a prophet. He is more than many saints, because he is the one of whom it is written: “Look, I am going to send my angel to prepare Your way before You.” Angel. Consider this. You know that the angels are pure spirits created by God to His spiritual likeness and placed as a link between man, the perfection of the visible and material creation, and God, the Perfection of Heaven and Earth, Creator of the spiritual Kingdom and of the animal kingdom. Even in the holiest man there is always flesh and blood forming an abyss between him and God. And the abyss subsides under the 265.John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah. 423 weight of sin that weighs down also what is spiritual in man. So God created the angels, creatures reaching the summit of the creation scale, just as minerals lie at its base, minerals being the dust forming the earth and inorganic materials in general. They are clear mirrors of the Thought of God, willing flames operating out of love, ready to understand, quick in acting, free in willing as we are, but their entirely holy will ignores the rebellion and incentive of sin. That is what the angels adoring God are, His messengers to men, our protectors, who grant us the Light that shines on them and the Fire that they gather worshipping. John is called “angel” by the prophetic word. And I say to you: “Of all the children born of women, a greater one than John the Baptist has never been seen.” Yet the least in the Kingdom of Heaven will be greater than John-man. Because one of the Kingdom of Heaven is a son of God and not of woman. Endeavour therefore to become citizens of the Kingdom. 7 What are you asking one another? » « We were saying: “But will John be in the Kingdom? And how will he be there?” » « He is already in the Kingdom in his spirit and he will be there after his death as one of the most splendid suns of the eternal Jerusalem. And that because of the Grace that is in him without any flaw and through his own will. Because he was and is violent also against himself for a holy purpose. From the Baptist onwards the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are capable of conquering it through strength opposed to Evil, and the violent will conquer it. Because now it is known what is to be done and everything has been given for such conquest. It is no longer the time when the Law and the Prophets only spoke. They spoke down to the time of John. Now the Word of God speaks and He does not hide an iota of what is to be known for this conquest. Thus, if you believe in Me you must see him as the Elijah who is to come. If anyone has ears to hear, let him listen. What description can I find for this generation? It is like children shouting to their companions as they sit in the market place: “We have played the pipes for you and you would not dance, we sang dirges and you would not weep.” For John came and he neither ate nor drank and this generation says: “He can do that because the demon assists him.” The Son of man came, eating and drinking and they say: “Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of publicans and sinners.” Thus her children do justice to Wisdom! I tell you solemnly that only children are capable of discerning the truth, because there is no malice in them. » 8 « You are right, Master » says the head of the synagogue. « That is why my daughter, who is still without malice, can see You as we are not able to see You. And yet this town and the neighbouring ones are overflowing with Your power, wisdom and kindness, and, I must admit it, they are making progress only in wickedness towards You. They will not mend their ways. And the good You do them ferments into hatred against You. » « What are you saying, Jairus? You are calumniating us. We are here because we are faithful to the Christ » says one from Bethsaida. « Yes. We are. But how many are we? Less than one hundred out of three towns that ought to be at Jesus' feet. Of those who are absent, I am talking of the men, half are hostile, a quarter are indifferent, I will grant that the rest cannot come. Is that not a sin in the eyes of God? And will such hatred and obstinacy in evil not be punished? Speak, Master, because You know, and if You are silent it is out of kindness, not because You do not know. You are patient, and that is mistaken for ignorance and weakness. Speak, therefore and may Your words stir at least those who are indifferent, as the wicked will not repent, but they become more and more wicked. » « Yes, it is a sin. And it will be punished. Because the gift of God must never be despised or used to do wrong. Woe betide you, Korazim, woe betide you, Bethsaida, who misuse the gifts of God. If the miracles worked in you had taken place in Tyre and Sidon, their inhabitants would have done penance and come to Me a long time ago wearing sackcloths and sprinkled with ashes. I therefore say that Tyre and Sidon will be dealt with more mercifully than you will on Doomsday. And you, Capernaum, do you think that You will be exalted to Heaven only because you gave Me hospitality? You will descend to hell. Because if the miracles I gave you had been worked in Sodom, it would still be  flourishing, as it would have believed in Me and turned. Therefore greater mercifulness will be shown to Sodom on the Day of Judgement, because they did not know the Saviour and His word, and thus their sin is not so grave, than will be shown to you as you knew the Messiah and heard His word but you did not mend your ways. But, since God is just, those of Capernaum, Bethsaida and Korazim who believed and are becoming holy obeying My word, will be treated with great mercifulness. Because it is not fair for the just to be involved in the ruin of sinners. With regard to your daughter, Jairus, and yours, Simon, and your boy Zacharias, and your grandchildren, Benjamin, I tell you that they already see God, because they are without malice. And you can see how their 265.John the Baptist Sends His Disciples to Ask Jesus whether He Is the Messiah. 424 faith is pure and active, joined to celestial wisdom and charitable yearning, which adults do not possess. » 9 And Jesus, looking at the sky, which is becoming dark at dusk, exclaims: « I thank You, Father of Heaven and Earth, because You have concealed these things from wise and learned people and You have disclosed them to the humble. Because that is what pleases You. Everything has been trusted to Me by My Father, and nobody knows Him but the Son and those to whom the Son has revealed it. And I have revealed it to the little ones, to the humble, the pure, because God gives Himself to them, and the truth descends like seed on free soil and the Father pours His light on it that it may take root and grow. Truly, the Father prepares these souls of children by age or children by will, that they may know the truth and I may rejoice in their faith. »

264. Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate.

 264. Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate. 28th August 1945. 1 Jesus is sitting at the table in the house in Capernaum with all His disciples, which means that Judas has joined his companions after fulfilling his task. It is evening. The light of the fading day enters from the door and the wide open windows through which it is possible to see the purple of sunset change into unreal violet-red, the borders of which fray crumpling up into a violet-slate that pales into grey. It puts me in mind of a sheet of paper thrown on to a fire: it lights up and as soon as it stops burning, its edges crumple up and become a leaden bluish shade, which fades into an almost white pearly grey. « It's warm » states Peter, pointing at a huge cloud which tinges the west with those shades. « Warm. But no rain. That's not a cloud, it's fog. Tonight I am going to sleep in the boat, where it is cooler. » « No. Tonight we are going to the olive-groves. I must speak to you. Judas is now back. It is time for Me to speak to you. I know an airy spot, where we shall be comfortable. Get up and let us go. » « Is it far? » they ask picking up their mantles. « No. It is very near. Within a stone's throw by sling from the last house. You may leave your mantles. But take tinder and flint so that we can see our way when coming back. » They come out of the upstairs room and go downstairs bidding good night to the landlord and his wife who are enjoying the cool air on the terrace. Jesus walks resolutely in the opposite direction from the lake and, after crossing the village, He proceeds for about two or three hundred yards into an olive-grove on the first hillock behind the village. He stops on a projection of earth that because of its position free from obstacles enjoys all the air possible in that sultry night. 2 « Let us sit down, and pay attention to Me. The hour of evangelization has come. I am about half way through My public life preparing hearts for My Kingdom. It is now time that My apostles also take part in the preparation of this Kingdom. That is what kings do when they decide to conquer a kingdom. First they make investigations and approach people to find out their reaction and win them to the plan they are pursuing. Later they enlarge their preparatory work by means of reliable messengers sent to the country to be conquered. And they send more and more of them until all the geographical and moral details of the whole country are known. After that the king completes his work by proclaiming himself king of that country and being crowned as such. And much blood is shed to achieve that. Because victories always cost blood... » « We are ready to fight for You and shed our blood » promise the apostles by one consent. « I will shed no blood but that of the Holy One and of saints. » « Do You wish to begin Your conquest starting from the Temple, storming it at the hour of the sacrifice?... » « Let us not stray, My friends. You will be informed of the future in due course. But do not shudder with horror. I assure you that I will not upset the ceremonies by means of a violent irruption. And yet they will be upset and there will be one evening when terror will prevent the ritual prayer. The terror of sinners. But I shall be in peace that evening. In peace with both My spirit and My body. A total blissful peace... » 264.Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate. 415 Jesus looks at His twelve apostles one by one and it is the same as if He looked at the same page twelve times and read for twelve times the one word written on it: incomprehension. He smiles and continues. « So I have decided to send you so that you may penetrate further ahead and more widely than I can do by Myself. But for prudential reasons I will ensure that there is a difference between your way of evangelizing and Mine, because I do not want to put you in too difficult situations, which could be too seriously dangerous for your souls and bodies, and also because I do not wish to jeopardise My own work. You are not as yet perfected to the point of being able to approach anyone without being damaged or without damaging, and least of all are you heroic to the extent of defying the world on behalf of the Idea, facing the revenge of the world. So, when you go about preaching Me, do not go among Gentiles and do not enter the towns of Samaritans, but go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. There is so much to be done amongst them, because I solemnly tell you that the crowds that you think are so numerous around Me, are the hundredth part of those who are still waiting for the Messiah in Israel and they do not know Him, neither do they know that He is living amongst them. Take them faith in Me and the knowledge of Me. On your way preach saying, “The Kingdom of Heaven is near.” Let that be your basic announcement supporting all your preaching... You have heard Me speak so much of the Kingdom! All you need do is repeat what I told you. But man, to be attracted by and convinced of spiritual truth, needs material kindness, as if he were an eternal boy who will not study a lesson or learn a trade unless he is attracted by a sweet from his mother, or a reward from his school master, or his trade tutor. In order to let you have the means to be believed and sought after, I will grant you the gift of working miracles... » 3 The apostles jump to their feet, with the exception of James of Alphaeus and John, shouting, protesting, becoming excited, each reacting according to his temperament. Really, the only one strutting about at the idea of working miracles is the Iscariot, who with the foolhardiness of false and selfishly motivated interest exclaims: « It was time that we should do that to have the least authority over the crowds! » Jesus looks at him but does not say anything. Peter and the Zealot who were saying: « No, Lord! We are not worthy of so much! That is due to saints », contradict Judas, as the Zealot says: « Why do you take the liberty of reproaching the Master, you silly proud man? » and Peter adds: « The least authority? And what do you want to do more than work miracles? Do you want to become God as well? Have you got the same itch Lucifer had? » « Silence! » orders Jesus. And He continues: « There is one thing that is even greater than miracles and equally convinces the crowds, but more deeply and durably: a holy life. But you are far from that, and you, Judas, are farther than the rest. But let Me speak because My instruction is a long one. 4 Go therefore, curing sick people, cleansing lepers, raising bodies and spirits from the dead, because bodies and spirits can be sick, leprous, dead as well. And you are already aware how a miracle is worked: through a life of penance, fervent prayer, sincere desire to glorify the power of God, deep humility, living charity, burning faith, and through hope that no kind of difficulty can upset. I solemnly tell you that everything is possible to those who have such virtues. Demons also will flee before the Name of the Lord pronounced by you, if you have within you what I said. That power is given to you by Me and by our Father. No money can buy it. Only our Will grants it, only a just life keeps it. As it is given to you gratuitously, so gratuitously give it to others, to the needy. Woe betide you if you depreciate the gift of God by using it to fatten your purse. It is not your power, it is the power of God. Make use of it, but do not take possession of it, saying: “It is mine.” As it is given to you, so it can be taken away from you. Simon of Jonah a little while ago said to Judas of Simon: “Have you got the same itch as Lucifer had?” He gave a correct definition. To say: “I do what God does because I am like God” is to imitate Lucifer. And his punishment is well known. Equally known is what happened to the two progenitors who in the earthly paradise ate the forbidden fruit, through instigation of the Envious One, who wanted to imprison more unhappy souls in his Hell, besides the rebellious angels already there, but also through their own itch of perfect pride. The only fruit you are allowed to take from what you do, are the souls whom you will conquer for the Lord by means of the miracle and who are to be given to the Lord. That is your money. Nothing else. You will enjoy your treasure in the next life. 5 Go without riches. Do not take with you gold, or silver, or money in your purses, or travelling-bag with two or more tunics or spare shoes, or pilgrim's staff, or weapons. Because for the time being your apostolic visits will be short ones and every Sabbath eve we shall meet and you will be able to change your sweated garments without having to take spare ones with you. No staff is required because it is more pleasant to walk without, and what is useful on hills 264.Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate. 416 and plains is different from what is useful in deserts and on high mountains. No weapon is needed. Weapons are useful to men who do not know what is holy poverty or divine forgiveness. You have no treasures to protect and defend from robbers. The only robber you must fear is Satan. And he is defeated by perseverance and prayer, not by swords and daggers. Forgive those who offend you. If anyone should rob you of your mantle, give him also your tunic. If you should remain completely nude because of your mildness and detachment from riches, you will not scandalise the angels of the Lord or the infinite chastity of God, because your charity would clothe your nude body with gold and your mildness would adorn you like a sash, while your forgiveness towards the robber would give you a royal mantle and crown. You would therefore be better dressed than a king: not with corruptible clothes, but with imperishable material. Do not worry about your food. You will always have what is appropriate for your condition and your ministry, because a worker is always worthy of the food that is offered to him. And if men should not provide for the worker, God will. I have already proved to you that to live and preach it is not necessary to have your stomachs full of food. That is useful to unclean animals whose purpose in life is to grow fat and then be slaughtered to fatten men. But you must fatten your own souls and the souls of other people with the food of wisdom. And Wisdom is revealed to minds not made dull by guzzling and to hearts nourished with supernatural food. You have never been so eloquent as after the retreat on the mountain. And then you ate only what was necessary to survive. And yet at the end of the retreat you were as strong and cheerful as you have never been before. Is that not true? 6 Whatever town or place you enter, find out who is deserving of receiving you. Not because you are Simon, or Judas, or Bartholomew, or James, or John, and so on. But because you are the messengers of the Lord. Even if you had been the dregs of society, or murderers, thieves, publicans, but now you were repentant and at My service, you would deserve respect because you are My messengers. I will say even more. I say: Woe betide you if outwardly you look like My messengers, whilst inwardly you are abject servants of Satan. Woe betide you! Hell would be too little compared to what your deceit deserves. But even if you were messengers of the Lord publicly, and at the same time the dregs of society, or publicans, thieves, murderers occultly and people in their hearts suspected or were almost certain of that, you would still be entitled to honour and respect, because you are My messengers. The eye of man must see beyond the means, and see the messenger and the final purpose, that is God and His work beyond the too often faulty means. Only in the case of grave sin, injuring the faith in hearts, I for the time being, My successors in future, will see that the bad limb is cut off. Because it is not lawful that the souls of believers should be lost through a demon priest. It will never be lawful, in order to hide the wounds affecting the apostolic body, to allow gangrenous limbs to survive in it, as their repugnant aspect drives people away and their demoniac stench is poisonous. So you will find out which is the most righteously living family, where women know how to live in seclusion and morals are chaste. And you will enter that house and live there until you leave the place. Do not imitate drones, which after sucking a flower pass on to a more nourishing one. Whether you arrive among people with a splendid house and rich table, or you happen to go to a humble family, rich only in virtue, stay where you are. Never seek what is “better” for the perishable body. On the contrary, always give it what is worse, keeping all the rights for the spirit. And whenever possible, give your preference to the hospitality of the poor: I tell you because it is better to do so. Do so in order not to mortify them and in memory of Me, as I am and will remain poor and I boast of being poor, and also because very often the poor are better than the rich. You will always find poor people who are just, but only rarely you will find a rich man without any fault. You have no excuse in saying: “I found goodness only amongst the rich” in order to justify your keen desire for welfare. When entering a house greet its inhabitants with My salutation, which is the kindest there is. Say: “Peace be with you. Let peace be in this house, or Let peace come to this house.” In fact, as messengers of Jesus and of the Gospel, you take peace with you and your going to one place is to make peace come to it. If the house is worthy of it, peace will come and remain in it; if it is not worthy of it, your peace will come back to you. So mind to be peaceful yourselves, in order to have God as your Father. A father always helps. And with the help of God you will do everything and everything well. It may be, nay it will certainly happen, that a town or house will not receive you or will not listen to your words, but will drive you away or ridicule you or will chase you throwing stones at you as boring prophets. In such cases you must be more than ever peaceful, humble and mild, having acquired such virtues as a habit of life. Otherwise you will be overwhelmed by anger and you will commit sin, scandalising and increasing the incredulity of those you wish to convert. If 264.Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate. 417 instead you peacefully accept the insult of being driven away, derided, chased, you will convert people by means of the most beautiful sermon: the silent sermon of true virtue. One day you will find on your way the enemies of today and they will say to you: “We have been looking for you because your behaviour has convinced us of the Truth that you announce. Please forgive us and accept us as your disciples. Because we did not know who you were, but now we know that you are saints. And if you are saints, you must be the messengers of a saint, and we now believe in Him.” But when leaving the town or the house where you were not received, shake the dust off your sandals, so that the pride and harshness of that place may not stick even to your soles. I solemnly tell you: “On Doomsday Sodom and Gomorrah will be dealt with less severely.” 7 Now: I am sending you like sheep among wolves. Be, therefore, as cunning as serpents and yet as harmless as doves. Because you are aware how the world, in which really there are more wolves than sheep, treats Me also, and I am the Christ. I can defend Myself by My power and I will do so until the hour of the temporary triumph of the world comes. But you do not possess that power and you need greater prudence and simplicity. Thus greater sagacity as well, to avoid being scourged and imprisoned for the time being. In actual fact, notwithstanding your statement that you are willing to shed your blood on My behalf, you are not capable at present of putting up with an ironic or angry glance. But the time will come when you will be as strong as heroes against persecutions, even stronger than heroes and your heroism, which the world cannot conceive or explain, will be called: “madness.” No, it will not be madness! It will be the identification, through love, of man with the Man-God, and you will be able to do what I have already done. To understand this heroism it will be necessary to see it, study it and judge it from a heavenly level. Because it is something supernatural that is beyond all the limitations of human nature. Kings, the kings of the spirit will be My heroes, forever kings and heroes... In those days they will arrest you laying hands on you, they will drag you before lawcourts, garrison commanders and kings, to judge and condemn you for the great sin, in the eyes of the world, of being the servants of God, the ministers and guardians of Good, the masters of virtue. And for that same reason you will be scourged and punished in many ways and even killed. And you will give testimony of Me to kings, garrison commanders, nations, confessing with your blood that you love Christ, the True Son of the True God. When you are in their hands do not worry about what you have to reply and what you have to say. Do not grieve then for anybody, but for the judge and accusers led astray by Satan to the extent of becoming blind to the Truth. You will be given the words to be spoken at the time. Your Father will put them on your lips because it is not you who will be speaking to convert people to your Faith and profess the Truth, but it will be the Spirit of the Father Who will speak in you. 8 Brother will then betray brother to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. Do not be shocked or scandalised! Tell Me: according to you is it a greater crime to kill a father, a son, a brother, or God Himself? » « God cannot be killed » replies sharply Judas Iscariot. « That is true. He is an invincible Spirit » confirms Bartholomew. And the others, although they do not speak, are all of the same opinion. « I am God and I am Flesh » says Jesus calmly. « No one is thinking of killing You » retorts the Iscariot. « Please, reply to My question. » « Of course, it is a graver crime to kill God! » « Well: God will be killed by man, in the Flesh of the Man-God and in the soul of the murderers of the Man-God. So, as they will go so far as committing that crime, without the murderers being horrified at it, so the crimes of fathers, brothers and children, against children, brothers and fathers will be committed. You will be hated by all men on account of My Name. But he who stands firm until the end will be saved. And when they persecute you in one town, take refuge in the next one. Not out of cowardice, but to give time to the new-born Church of Christ to reach the age, not of a weak incapable unweaned child, but an older age in which it will be able to face life and death without being afraid of Death. Let those flee who are advised by the Spirit to flee. As I fled when a child. Truly, all the vicissitudes of My earthly life will be repeated in My Church. All of them. From the mystery of its formation to the humbleness of the early times, to the perturbation and snares brought about by cruel people, to the necessity of fleeing to continue to live, from poverty and unremitting work, to 264.Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate. 418 many more events that I am living now, that I will suffer later, before reaching My eternal triumph. On the other hand let those remain who are advised by the Spirit to remain. Because even if they are killed they will live and be useful to the Church. Because what the Spirit of God advises, is always good. 9 I solemnly tell you that you and your successors will not have covered all the roads and all the towns in Israel before the Son of Man comes. Because on account of its dreadful sin Israel will be scattered like chaff by a whirlwind, and will be spread all over the earth and centuries and millennia will go by before it is gathered again on the threshing-floor of Araunah the Jebusite. Every time Israel will try to gather together, before the predetermined hour, it will be caught once again in the whirlwind and scattered, because Israel will have to weep for its sin for as many centuries as the drops of blood that will flow from the veins of the Lamb of God sacrificed for the sins of the world. And My Church, which will be struck by Israel in Me and in My apostles and disciples, will have to open its motherly arms and endeavour to gather Israel under its mantle, as a brooding hen does with its stray chickens. When the whole of Israel will be under the mantle of the Church of Christ, then I will come. But that applies to the future. Let us talk of the present. 10 Remember that the disciple is not superior to his Teacher, nor the slave to his Master. It is enough for the disciple to be like his Teacher, which is already an undeserved honour; and for a slave to be like his Master, and it is supernatural bounty to grant you that. If they have called the Landlord Beelzebub, what will they not say of the household? And will the slaves be able to rebel, if the Landlord does not rebel, does not hate or curse, but calm in his justice he continues to work, postponing judgement to another moment, when he sees them obstinate in Evil, after he has tried everything to persuade them? No. The slaves will not be able to do what the Master does not do, but they can imitate Him, considering that they are sinners, whereas He is without sin. So, be not afraid of those who will call you “demons.” The truth will be known one day and then it will be clear who was the “demon”, whether it was you or they. There is nothing hidden that is not to be revealed, and nothing secret that is not to be known. What I now say to you in the dark and secretly, because the world is not worthy of knowing all the words of the Word, it is not yet worthy of that and it is not yet time to tell also those who are unworthy, when the time comes when everything is to be known, tell in daylight, proclaim from housetops what I now whisper more to your souls than to your ears. Because the world then will have been baptised in Blood and there will be such a banner against Satan that the world, if it wishes so, will be able to understand the secrets of God, while Satan will not be able to injure anyone but those who wish to be bitten by him and prefer his bite to My kiss. But most of the world will not wish to understand. Only a minority will be willing to know everything in order to follow all My Doctrine. It does not matter. As it is not possible to separate that minority from the unjust mass, preach My Doctrine as well from housetops, preach it from mountain tops, on the boundless seas, in the bowels of the earth. Even if men will not listen to it, birds and winds, fish and waves will pick up the divine words and the bowels of the earth will keep their echo to repeat it to underground springs, minerals and metals, and they will all rejoice over them, because they have been created by God as well to be a stool for My feet and joy to My heart. 11 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul, fear him rather who can lose your soul and unite it on Doomsday to your body raised from death, to throw both into the fire of Hell. Be not afraid. Are two sparrows not sold for a penny? And yet, if your Father does not allow it, not one of them will fall to the ground notwithstanding all the snares of man. So be not afraid. The Father knows you. Every hair on your heads is known to Him. And you are worth more than many sparrows! And I tell you that if anyone acknowledges Me in the presence of men, I will acknowledge him in the presence of My Father Who is in Heaven. But the one who disowns Me in the presence of men, I will disown in the presence of My Father. To acknowledge means to follow and practice; to disown means to abandon My way out of cowardice, or treble concupiscence, or petty calculation, or attachment to a relative who opposes Me. Because that will happen. 12 Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth and for the earth. My Peace is above the selfish peace treaties for every day's wangle. It is not peace I have come to bring, but a sword. A sharp sword to cut the lianas detaining people in mud and open the way to supernatural flights. I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Because I am He Who reigns and has every right on His subjects. Because no one is greater than I am with regard to rights on affections. Because all love is centralised in Me and becomes thus sublime: I am Father, Mother, Husband, Brother, Friend, and I love you as such and as such I am to be loved. And when I say: “I want”, no tie can resist and that soul is Mine. 264.Instructions to the Apostles at the Beginning of Their Apostolate. 419 I created it with the Father, I save it by Myself, so I am entitled to have it. The real enemies of man are men, besides demons; and the enemies of the new man, of the Christian, will be his relatives at home, with their complaints, their threats or their entreaties. But from now on he who prefers his father and mother to Me, is not worthy of Me; he who prefers his son or daughter to Me, is not worthy of Me. He who does not take his cross daily, complex as it is, made of resignation, renunciation, obedience, heroism, sorrow, illness, mourning, made of anything that reveals the will of God or a test for man, and does not follow with it in My footsteps, is not worthy of Me. Anyone who appraises earthly life more than the spiritual one, will lose true Life. Anyone who loses his earthly life for My sake, will find an eternal blissful one. 13 Anyone who receives you, receives Me. He who receives Me receives Him Who sent Me. Anyone who receives a prophet as a prophet, will receive a reward proportionate to the charity offered to the prophet, he who receives a just man because he is just, will receive a prize proportionate to the just man. The reason is that he who acknowledges a prophet as such, must be a prophet himself, that is, very holy because he is held in the arms of the Spirit of God; and who will acknowledge a just man as such proves that he is just as well, because like souls know one another. Thus, each will be given a reward according to justice. And he who has given a glass of pure water to one of My servants, even if he were the least one – and are servants of Jesus all those who preach Him through their holy lives, and may be kings or beggars, wise men or people who know nothing, old people and babies, because all ages and all classes can be My disciples – he who has given a disciple of Mine even a glass of water in My name and because he is My disciple, I solemnly tell you that he will not go without a reward. 14 I have finished. Now let us pray and go home. You will leave at dawn as follows: Simon of Jonah with John, Simon Zealot with Judas Iscariot, Andrew with Matthew, James of Alphaeus with Thomas, Philip with James of Zebedee, My brother Judas with Bartholomew. That is for this week. I will let you have new instructions later. Let us pray. » And they pray in loud voices..

263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth.

 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 27th August 1945. 1 The house in Nazareth would be the most suitable for spiritual elevation. There is peace, silence, order. Holiness seems to exude from its stones, from the trees of the kitchen garden, or to pour from the serene thatch which forms a heavenly dome over it. In actual fact it exhales from Her Who lives in it, and moves about quickly and silently, with Her unchanged youthful gait and light step, as when She entered the house as a bride, and with the same smile which soothes and caresses. The sun, in this early morning hour, is shining on the right hand side of the house, the one close to the first undulation of the hill, and only the tops of trees benefit from it, first of all the olive-trees planted near the terrace to retain the earth by means of their roots: they are the surviving olive-trees of Joachim's olive-grove, huge contorted trees with their thicker branches rising towards the sky as if they were invoking its blessing or were praying also from that peaceful place. Once the grove consisted of many trees, which like praying pilgrims formed a long procession extending as far as the fields where olive-grove and fields became grazing ground, whereas there are only a few trees left now within Joachim's mutilated property. The next to benefit from the sunshine are the tall strong almond and apple-trees, forming sunshades over the garden with their branches, then there is a pomegranate enjoying the rays of sunlight, and last the 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 409 fig-tree near the house, when the sun already caresses the well cultivated flowers and vegetables in rectangular flower-beds and along the hedges planted under pergolas laden with grapes. Buzzing bees, like flying golden drops alight on everything that may give them sweet scented juices. A small honeysuckle shoot is attacked by them as well as a hedge of bell-shaped flower bunches, the name of which I do not know, but must be night flowers, as they are about to close, and their scent is very strong. The bees hasten to suck them before they fold their petals to sleep in the corolla. Mary goes quickly from the nest of the doves to the little fountain, and from there to the house, doing Her work, and yet, while doing so, She manages to admire Her flowers or the doves cooing along the paths or flying around the house and the kitchen garden. 2 Judas Iscariot comes back laden with plants and scions. « Hail, Mother. They gave me everything I wanted. I ran back so that they may not get injured. But I hope that they will take root as the honeysuckle did. Next year Your garden will be like a flowery basket. And You will thus remember poor Judas and his stay here » he says, carefully taking out from a bag some plants, the roots of which are enveloped in earth and damp leaves, and some scions from another bag. « Thank you, Judas. Thank you very much, indeed. You have no idea how happy I am to have that honeysuckle near the little grotto. When I was a little girl, over there, at the end of those fields, which belonged to us in those days, there was a lovelier grotto, and ivy and honeysuckles adorned it with their branches and flowers, forming a kind of curtain and shelter for tiny lilies growing inside the grotto, which the delicate embroidery of maidenhair made completely green. Because there was a spring there... In the Temple I often thought of that grotto and I tell you that when I prayed before the Veil of the Holy, as a virgin of the Temple, I did not perceive God more strongly. Nay, I must say that I dreamed there of the sweet conversations of My soul with My Lord... My Joseph prepared this one for Me, with this fine stream of water, not so much because of its utility, as to give Me the joy of a grotto like the other one... Joseph was good, and considerate of the least details... And he planted a honeysuckle and ivy, the latter is still alive, the former died during the years of our exile... He replanted it later. But it died three years ago. You have planted it once again. It has taken root, see? You are a very clever gardener. » « Yes. When a child I loved plants so much and my mother taught me how to take care of them... Being with You, Mother, I feel as if I were a boy again and I discover my old skill. I do it to please You. You are so good to me!...» replies Judas, working skillfully in setting the plants in the most suitable places. Near the hedge of the night flowers he places a tangle of roots, which I do not know whether they are lilies of the valley or some other flower. « They will do well here » he says pressing with a little hoe the earth on to the buried roots. « Too much sunshine is not good for them. Eleazar's servant did not want to give me them. But I insisted so much that he gave them to me. » « They did not want to give Joseph those Indian jasmines. But he did some work for them without asking for payment in order to get them for Me. They have flourished more and more. » « There You are, Mother. I will now water them and they will be all right. » He waters them and then washes his hands in the fountain. 3 Mary looks at him: he is so different from Her Jesus, and so different as well from the Judas of certain stormy hours; She scans him, approaches him and laying a hand on his arm She kindly asks him: « Are you feeling better, Judas? In your soul, I mean. » « Oh! Mother! So much better! I am in peace. And You can see it. I find pleasure and salvation in humble things and in being with You. I should never leave this peace, this quietude. Here... How far is the world from this house!...» And Judas looks at the garden, the plants, the little house... He concludes: « But if I stayed here I would never be an apostle. And I want to be one...» « However, believe Me, it would be better for you to be a just soul rather than an injust apostle. If you feel that contact with the world upsets you, if you realise that the praises and honours of an apostle hurt you, give it up, Judas. It is better for you to be a simple believer in My Jesus, but a holy believer, rather than be a sinful apostle. » Judas lowers his head pensively. Mary leaves him to his meditation and goes into the house, to Her housework. Judas remains still for some time, he then walks up and down under the pergola. His arms are folded, his head is lowered. He is engrossed in thought, then he begins to speak and gesticulate to himself. His monologue is incomprehensible. His gestures are typical of a person anguished with clashing ideas. He seems to be invoking and rejecting, or pitying, or cursing something, his inquisitive 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 410 countenance becomes frightened, anguished, until his face has the expression of his worse moments... and he stops abruptly in the middle of the path, remaining still for some time, with a real diabolic countenance... He covers his face with his hands and runs up the hillock of the olive-trees, away from Mary's sight, and he weeps hiding his face in his hands, until he calms down and remains sat, leaning with his back against on olive-tree, as if he were bewildered... 4 ... It is no longer morning, but the end of a glorious sunset. Nazareth opens the doors of its houses, which have been closed all day against the fierce summer heat of an eastern day. Women, men, children come out into the kitchen gardens or on to the roads still warm but no longer sunny, seeking cool air at the fountain, or playing or talking... waiting for supper. Men, women, children greet one another in loud voices, they chatter, laugh, shout... Judas also goes out and turns his steps to the fountain carrying copper pitchers. He is noticed and indicated by the people of Nazareth with the nickname «the disciple of the Temple», which sounds to him like sweet music. He passes by greeting people kindly, but also with a little reserve, which if it is not yet proud haughtiness, it is very close to it. « You are very good to Mary » a citizen with a long beard says to him. « She deserves that and more. She really is a great woman of Israel. You are lucky to have such a citizen. » The praise of the woman of Nazareth delights the people who repeat to one another what Judas said. The apostle has in the meantime reached the fountain where he waits for his turn and he is so kind as to carry the pitchers of an elderly woman, who cannot bless him enough, and he fills the jars of two women, who are hampered by the suckling each carries in her arms. Sorting their veils they whisper: « May God reward you. » « Love for our neighbour is the first duty of a friend of Jesus » replies the Iscariot bowing. He then fills his own pitchers and goes back home. 5 The head of the synagogue of Nazareth and other people stop him on his way home, and invite him to speak on the following Sabbath. « You have been here with us over two weeks and you have not taught us any lesson apart from your kindness to us all » complains the head, who is with other elders of the village. « But if the speeches of your greatest son are not pleasant to you, how can you be satisfied with the sermon of one of His disciples, who is a Judaean over and above? » replies Judas. « Your suspicion is an unfair one and it grieves us. Our invitation is sincere. You are a disciple and a Judaean. That is true. But you are of the Temple. So you may speak. Because there is doctrine in the Temple. Joseph's son is only a carpenter...» « But He is the Messiah! » « He says so... But is it true? Or is it delirium? » « But, people of Nazareth, what about His holiness! His holiness » Judas is scandalised at the incredulity of the Nazarenes. « It is great. That is true. But between that and being the Messiah!... And then... Why does He speak so harshly? » « Harsh? No. He does not seem harsh to me. Well, He is too sincere and too intolerant, that is true. He leaves no fault untouched, He does not hesitate to denounce abuses... and people do not like that. He always brings up a sore point. And that hurts. But He does it because of His holiness. Surely! That is the only reason. I have said to Him several times: “Jesus, You are damaging Your reputation.” But He will not listen to me!...» « You are very fond of Him, and learned as you are you could guide Him. » « Oh! not learned... But practical, yes. I am of the Temple, you know!? I am familiar with customs. I have friends. Annas' son is like a brother to me. If you want something from the Sanhedrin, just tell me... But let me take the water to Mary now, as She is waiting for me for supper. » « Come back later. It is cool on my terrace. You will be among friends and we shall be able to talk...» 6 « Yes, goodbye » and Judas goes home where he apologises to Mary for being late as he was held up by the head of the synagogue and by the elders of the village. And he concludes: « They would like me to speak on Sabbath... The Master did not tell me to speak. What do You say, Mother. Guide me. » « Speak to the head of the synagogue... or to the synagogue? » 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 411 « To both. I would not like to speak to any of them because they are against Jesus and also because it seems a sacrilege to me to speak where He is by right the only Master there. But they insisted so much! They want me after supper... I have almost promised them to go. And if You think that by speaking I may be able to mitigate their spirit of resistance to the Master, which is so unpleasant, I will go and speak to them although it is so burdensome to me. I will speak as best I can, very simply, endeavouring to be very patient in view of their stubbornness. Because I have realised that it is worse to be hard. Eh! I will not make again the mistake I made at Esdraelon! The Master was so upset about it! He did not say anything to me, but I understood. I will not do it again. But I would like to leave Nazareth after persuading the people that, Jesus is the Messiah and is to be believed and loved. » Judas is speaking while sitting at the table, at Jesus' place and eating what Mary has prepared for him. And it hurts me to see Judas sitting in that place, in front of Mary Who serves him like a mother. She now replies: « It would be a good thing if Nazareth understood the truth and accepted it. I will not hold you back, you may go. No one can say better than you whether Jesus deserves love. Consider how much He loves you and He shows it by always excusing you and satisfying you whenever possible... Let that consideration inspire you with holy words and deeds. » The supper is soon over. Judas goes to water the flowers in the garden before it gets too dark and he then goes out, leaving Mary on the terrace intent on folding the clothes She had hung out to dry. 7 And Judas, after greeting Alphaeus of Sarah and Mary of Clopas who are talking standing at the door of the latter, goes straight to the house of the head of the synagogue. Also the Lord's two cousins are present with other six elders. After pompous greetings they all sit gravely on seats adorned with cushions and they refresh themselves drinking anise or mint water, which must be very cool because the metal pitcher is moist outside owing to the difference in temperature between the ice cold water and the still warm air, notwithstanding the breeze blowing from the hills to the north of Nazareth stirs the tree-tops. « I am glad you agreed to come. You are young. A little relaxation is good for you » says the head of the synagogue who is full of attention towards Judas. « I was afraid of bothering you if I had come earlier. I know that you are rather disdainful towards Jesus and His followers...» « Disdainful? No. Skeptical... and we are hurt by His... let us admit it... by His too crude truth. We were under the impression that you disdained us and that is why we did not invite you. » « I disdain you? On the contrary! I understand you very well... Of course! But I am sure that at the end peace will be made between you and Him. It suits both you and Him. It suits Him because He is in need of everybody, and it suits you because it does not pay to be considered enemies of the Messiah. » « And do you think that He really is the Messiah? » asks Joseph of Alphaeus. « There is no trace in Him of the royal figure predicted by the prophets. Perhaps it is because we remember Him as a carpenter... But... Where is the liberating king in Him? » « David also appeared to be only a little shepherd. But you know that there has been no greater king than David. Not even Solomon in all his glory was so great. Because, after all, Solomon only continued David's work, but was never inspired like him. Whereas David! Just consider the figure of David! It is gigantic! His regality almost reaches up to Heaven. Do not doubt the royalty of the Christ, basing your judgement on His genealogy. David was king and shepherd. More truly: shepherd and then king. Jesus is king and carpenter. Or better still: carpenter and later king. » 8 « You speak as a rabbi. One can see that you have been brought up in the Temple » says the head of the synagogue. « And could you let the Sanhedrin know, that I, the head, am in need of the help of the Temple for a private reason? » « Of course! Certainly! With Eleazar! Just imagine! And then Joseph the Elder, you know? The wealthy man from Arimathea. And then Sadoc, the scribe... and then... All you have to do is to tell me! » « Well, be my guest tomorrow. We will talk about it. » « Your guest? No. I cannot leave Mary, that holy and sorrowful woman. I came here specially to keep Her company...» « What is the matter with our relative? We know that She is healthy and, although poor, She is happy » says Simon of Alphaeus. « Yes. And we never leave Her. My mother is always with Her. And my wife 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 412 and I, too. Although... Although I cannot forgive Her for being so weak with Her Son. And also for grieving my father, who because of Jesus died with only two of his sons at his bedside. And then... But family troubles are not to be proclaimed publicly » says Joseph of Alphaeus with a sigh. « You are right. They should be whispered in a low voice and confided to a friendly heart. The same applies to many troubles. I have mine as well, as a disciple... But it's better not to speak of them! » « On the contrary, let us speak of them. What is the matter? Trouble for Jesus? We do not approve of His behaviour. But we are His relatives. And we are ready to side with Him against His enemies. Speak up! » says Joseph again. « Trouble? No! I was just saying... The sorrows of a disciple are manifold! Not only because of the behaviour of his Master with friends and enemies, harming Himself, but also because it is grievous to see that He is not loved. I wish you all loved Him...» « But what can we do? You said that yourself! His behaviour is such... He was not like that before leaving His Mother » says the head of the synagogue apologetically. « Is that true, what do you all say? » They all agree solemnly, speaking highly of the silent, meek, retired Jesus of the past. « Who could have imagined that He was to become what He is now? He was completely devoted to house and relatives. Now instead? » remarks an elderly Nazarene. Judas exclaims with a sigh: « Poor woman! » « Well, what do you know? Tell us, speak up! » shouts Joseph. « Nothing more than you know. Do you think that it is pleasant for Her to be left alone? » « If Joseph had lived as your father did, that would not have happened » states another elderly Nazarene sententiously. « Don't believe that, man. It would have been the same. When one takes an idea into one's head!...» says Judas. A servant brings some lamps and lays them on the table, because it is a moonless night although the sky is sparkling with stars. More drinks are brought at the same time and the head of the synagogue offers them to Judas at once. « Thank you. I cannot stay any longer. I must go back to Mary » he says getting up. Also Alphaeus' two sons stand up saying: « We will come with you. We are going the same way...» and they part greeting one another ceremoniously while the six elders remain with the head of the synagogue. 9 The streets are now deserted and silent. People can be heard talking in low grave voices on the terraced roofs. Children are already sleeping in their little beds and thus their shrill voices resembling the twittering of joyful birds are not heard. From the terraces of the wealthier houses the faint glow of oil lamps descends with the low voices of people. Alphaeus' sons and Judas walk for a little while without speaking, then Joseph stops and taking Judas' arm he says: « Listen. I realise that you know something that you did not wish to mention in the presence of strangers. But now you must tell me. I am the oldest in the family and it is my right and my duty to know everything. » « And I came here for the purpose of telling you and thus protect the Master, Mary, your brothers and your reputation. It is something painful to tell and to hear. Very painful to be done. Because it looks like playing the spy. But please understand me properly. It is not so. It is only love and prudence. I know many things, which you know as well. My friends of the Temple told me. And I know that they are dangerous for Jesus and for the good name of the family. I have tried to make the Master understand. But I was not successful. On the contrary, the more I advise Him, the worse He behaves, thus causing people to criticise and hate Him more and more. The reason is that He is so holy that He cannot understand what the world is like. In short, it is sad to see a holy thing perish through the heedlessness of its founder. » « But what is it? Tell us everything. And we will take action. Is that right, Simon? » « Of course. But it seems impossible to me that He is imprudent and acts against His mission...» « But if this kind young man, who loves Jesus, says so!? See what you are like. 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 413 You are always like that: uncertain, hesitating. You always leave me alone at the crucial moment. The whole family is against me. You have no pity for our reputation and for our poor brother who is ruining Himself! » « No! He is not ruining Himself! But He is injuring Himself, that's what He is doing. » « Speak up! » insists Joseph while Simon is perplexedly silent. « I would speak... But I would like to be certain that you will not make any mention to Jesus... Swear it. » « We swear it on the holy Veil. Speak up. » « And you must not relate to your mother, and least of all to your brothers what I am going to tell you. » « You can be certain of our silence. » « And will you say nothing to Mary? In order not to grieve Her. It's your duty to see to the peace of that poor Mother, in silence, as I do. » « We will not say anything to anybody. We swear it. » 10 « Well listen... Jesus no longer confines Himself to approaching Gentiles, publicans and prostitutes, to offending Pharisees and other important people. But He does things that are absolutely absurd... Just imagine that when in Philistia, He made us go about taking with us a black billy-goat. Now He has a Philistine among His disciples. And before that, the boy He picked up? You have no idea what comments were made. And a few days ago He took a Greek girl, a slave, who had run away from her Roman master. And His speeches are contradictory to our well known wisdom. In short He seems to be mad. And He damages Himself. In Philistia He intruded also into a ceremony of wizards, competing face to face with them. He defeated them, but... scribes and Pharisees hate Him. But what will happen if they happen to hear about such things? You must intervene and stop...» « That's serious, very serious. But how could we know? We are here... And even now, how will we be able to find out? » « And yet it is your duty to intervene and stop Him. His Mother is a mother, and She is too good. You must not abandon Him thus. For His own sake and for the sake of the world. Also His continuous driving away demons... It is rumoured that He is assisted by Beelzebub. You can imagine whether that can do Him any good. In any case, what kind of a king will He ever become if the crowds laugh at Him just now or are scandalised? » « But... does He really do such things? » asks Simon incredulously. « Ask Him yourself. He will tell You that He does. Because He even boasts about it. » « You should let us know...» « I certainly will! When I see something new I will send you word. But... please, never say a word to anybody! » « We swore it. When are you leaving? » « After the Sabbath. There is no reason why I should stay here any longer. I have done my duty. » « And we thank you for it. Eh! I said that He had changed. And you, brother... you would not believe me... Can you now see whether I was right? » says Joseph of Alphaeus. « I can hardly believe, it. Judas and James, after all, are not fools. Why have they not told us? If such things are really happening, why have they not taken action? » says Simon of Alphaeus. « Man, you will not disgrace me by refusing to believe my words! », answers back Judas resentfully. « No!... but... That's enough. Forgive me if I say: I will believe when I see things myself. » « All right. You will soon see and then you will have to say to me: “You were right.” Well. There is your house. I leave you. God be with you. » « God be with you, Judas. And... listen. Don't speak to anyone about that. For our reputation...» « I will be as silent as the grave. Goodbye. » 11 And he goes away at a good pace. He enters the house serenely and goes up to the terrace where Mary, with Her hands in her lap, is contemplating the sky 263. A Day of Judas Iscariot at Nazareth. 414 crowded with stars. In the light of the little lamp that Judas has lit to climb the steps, tears can be seen shining on Mary's cheeks. « Why are You weeping, Mother? » asks Judas anxiously. « Because I think that there are more snares in the world than stars in the sky. Snares for My Jesus...» Judas looks at Her attentively and he seems upset. But She concludes kindly: « But I am comforted by the love of His disciples... Love My Jesus... love Him... Do you wish to stay here, Judas? I am going down to My room. Mary of Clopas has already gone to bed after preparing the leaven for tomorrow. » « Yes. I will remain up here. It is lovely here. » « Peace be with you, Judas. » « Peace be with You, Mary. »

262. The Man with the Withered Hand.

 262. The Man with the Withered Hand. 26th August 1945. 1 Jesus enters the synagogue in Capernaum, which slowly becomes crowded with believers, because it is Sabbath. Everybody is greatly surprised seeing Him. They all point to Him whispering and some pull the tunic of this or that apostle asking when they came back to town, because nobody knew that they were back. « We landed at the “fig well” coming from Bethsaida, to avoid taking one step more than is prescribed, my friend » replies Peter to Uriah, the Pharisee, who, feeling offended at being called « friend » by a fisherman, goes away disdainfully and joins his peers in the first row. « Don't tease them, Simon! » warns Andrew. « Tease them? He asked me a question and I replied saying also that we avoided walking to respect the Sabbath. » « They will say that we worked in the boat...» « They will end up by saying that we worked by breathing! Fool! It's the boat, the wind and the waves that work, not us who sail in the boat. » Andrew accepts the reprimand and becomes silent. After the preliminary prayers it is time to read a passage and explain it. The head of the synagogue asks Jesus to do so, but Jesus points to the Pharisees saying: « Let them do it. » But as they do not wish to comply, He is compelled to speak. 2 Jesus reads a passage from the first Book of the Kings, which tells how David was betrayed by the men of Ziph, who informed Saul that he was at Gibeah. Jesus hands the roll back and begins to speak. « It is always evil to infringe the precepts of charity, hospitality and honesty. But man does not hesitate to do so with utmost indifference. We have here a double episode of such infringement and the consequent punishment of God. The behaviour of the men of Ziph was deceitful. Saul's was equally so. The former were mean in their intention of getting into the graces of the stronger of the two. The latter was vile in the intention of getting rid of the Lord's anointed. They were thus united by their selfishness. And the false sinful king of Israel dares to give a reply to the base proposal mentioning the Lord: “May you be blessed by the Lord.” Derision of God's Justice! Habitual derision! Too often the Name of the Lord and His blessing are invoked as a reward or guarantee for man's wickedness. It is written: “You shall not utter the Name of God in vain.” And can there be anything more vain, or rather, more wicked than uttering it to commit a crime against one's neighbour? And yet it is a sin that is more frequent than any other, committed with indifference also by those who are always the first in the meetings of the Lord, in ceremonies and teaching. Remember that it is a sin to investigate, take notice and prepare everything to damage one's neighbour. It is also a sin to make other people investigate, take notice and prepare everything so that other people may injure one's neighbour. It implies inducing others to sin by tempting them with rewards or threatening them with retaliation. I warn you that it is a sin. I warn you that such behaviour is selfishness and hatred. And you are aware that hatred and selfishness are enemies of love. I am warning you because I am anxious about your souls. Because I love you. Because I do not want you to be in sin. Because I do not want you to be punished by God as happened to Saul, whose country was destroyed by the Philistines, while he was chasing David to capture him and kill him. I solemnly tell you that that will always happen to those who harm their neighbours. Their victory will last as long as the grass of a meadow. It will come up quickly, but it will soon be dry and trodden on by the foot of indifferent passers-by. Whereas good behaviour and honest life seem to find it hard to grow and assert themselves. But once they are perfected as habits of life they become strong leafy trees, which no hurricane can uproot or dog-days parch. Really, he who is faithful to the Law, truly faithful, becomes a strong tree, which is not bent by passions nor burnt by Satan's fire. I have finished. If there is anyone who wishes to say something, let him do so. » 3 « We ask You whether You have spoken referring to us Pharisees. » « Is the synagogue perhaps full of Pharisees? You are four, and there are hundreds of people. My word was for everybody. » « But the allusion was clear. » « Really, it has never been known that a man accuses himself only because suspicion is thrown on him by a parallel! But that is what you are doing. Why 262. The Man with the Withered Hand. 408 do you accuse yourselves if I do not accuse you? Are you aware of behaving as I said? I am not. But if you are, mend your ways. Because man is weak and may sin. And God forgives him if he sincerely repents and wants to sin no more. But to persist in evil is double sin for which there is no forgiveness. » « We have not committed such sin. » « Well, do not grieve over My words. » The argument is over. And the singing of hymns fills the synagogue. 4 The meeting seems to be on the point of winding up without any further incident, when Joachim, the Pharisee, sees a man in the crowd and beckons to him to go to the first row. The man is about fifty years old and has an atrophic arm and as atrophy has destroyed his muscles, also his hand is affected and is smaller than the other one. Jesus sees him. And He notices the bustle to draw His attention to him. There is a flashing but very clear sign of disgust and pity on His face. But He does not ward off the blow. On the contrary He faces the situation resolutely. « Come here, in the middle » He orders the man. And when the man is before Him, Jesus turns to the Pharisees and says: « Why do you tempt Me? Have I not just finished speaking of snares and hatred? And have you not just now said: “We have not such sin”? Are you not replying to Me? Answer at least this: Is it lawful to do good on the Sabbath? Is it lawful to save life or to kill? Are you not replying? I will reply in your place and in the presence of all the people, who will be able to judge better than you do, because they are simple and free from hatred and pride. It is not lawful to do any work on the Sabbath. But as it is lawful to pray, so it is lawful to do good, because good is even a greater prayer than the hymns and psalms which we have sung. But neither on the Sabbath nor on any other days is it lawful to do evil. And you have done just that by intriguing to have here this man who is not even from Capernaum and was brought here two days ago, as you knew that I was at Bethsaida and you guessed that I would be coming to My town. And you have done that to see if you can find something to use against Me. And thus you commit also the sin of killing your souls instead of saving them. But, as far as I am concerned, I forgive you and I will not disappoint the faith of this man, whom you told to come saying that I would cure him, whereas you wanted to lay a snare for Me. He is innocent because He came here with no other intention but to be cured. And be it so. Man: stretch out your hand and go in peace. » The man obeys and his hand is cured and is like the other one. He makes use of it at once by taking the hem of Jesus' mantle to kiss it saying: « You know that I was not aware of their true intentions. Had I known, I would not have come, as I would have preferred to keep my withered hand, rather than serve against You. So have no grudge against me. » « Go in peace, man. I know the truth and with regard to you I assure you of My good will. » The crowd go out making comments, and Jesus comes out last with His eleven apostles.

261. In the House of Dora and Philip.

 261. In the House of Dora and Philip. 24th August 1945. 1 Jesus is going back towards Nazareth along a road which winds through hills, benefitting from the shade of olive-groves and orchards spread in this fertile and well cultivated region. But when He arrives at a cross-road, intersecting the road to Ptolemais, He stops and says: « Let us stop at that house, where I have rested before, we shall have our meal, and while the sun follows its course, let us stay together before we part again. We shall go towards Tiberias, My Mother and Mary will go to Nazareth, John and Ermasteus to Sicaminon. » Through an olive-grove they turn their steps towards a low large house of peasants, adorned with the usual fig-tree, and decked with the festoons of a vine which climbs up an outside staircase and expands its branches over the terrace. « Peace be with you. I am here once again. » « Come Master. You are always welcome. May God grant peace to You and to Your friends » replies an elderly man who was crossing the yard carrying an armful of faggots. He then shouts: « Sarah! Sarah! The Master is here with His disciples. Add more flour to your bread! » A woman covered with flour comes out of one of the rooms: she has obviously been sieving, because she is still holding in her hands a sieve with some bran in it; she kneels in front of Jesus smiling. « Peace to you, woman. I brought you My Mother, as I promised you. Here She is. And this is Her sister-in-law, the mother of James and Judas. Where are Dinah and Philip? » The woman, after greeting the two Maries, replies: « Dinah had her third babygirl yesterday. We are a little sad, because we have not yet been given a nephew. But we are happy, too, is that right, Mattathias? » « Yes, because she is a beautiful baby and she is always our blood. We will show her to You. Philip has gone to bring back Anna and Naomi from his old parents, but he will soon be back. » 2 The woman goes back to her baking while the man, after putting the faggots into the oven, takes care of the guests, offering them seats and new milk, if they want it, or fruit and olives, if they prefer them. The room on the ground floor is cool and shady, large as it is and with two doors, one in the front, the other at the back, the forme! being shaded by the large fig-tree, the latter by a tall hedge of star-shaped flowers, which resemble sunflowers in shape, but with smaller corollas. Thus an emerald green light enters the largo room, and it is of great relief to eyes tired by the strong sunshine. There are benches and tables in the room, which is perhaps the one where the women spin and weave and the men repair their agricultural tools or store their supplies of flour and fruit, as would appear by some small beams with many hooks and boards placed on consoles, besides long chests along the walls. Fluffy hurds of linen or hemp look like loose plaits hanging on the whitewashed wall, and a piece of bright red cloth stretched on an uncovered loom seems to cheer up the whole room with its pompous joyful colour. The landlady, who has finished her baking, comes back and asks the guests whether they wish to see the new-born baby. Jesus replies: « I will certainly bless her. » Mary instead stands up saying: « I will come and greet the mother. » All the women go out. « It is very comfortable here » says Bartholomew who is clearly very tired. « Yes. It is quiet and shady. We shall end up by falling asleep. confirms Peter, who is already drowsy. « In three days' time we shall be at home for a long time. You will be able to rest because you will be going evangelizing in the neighbourhood » says Jesus. « And what about You? » « I will stay at Capernaum most of the time, going to Bethsaida now and again. And I will evangelize those who join Me there, Then at the moon of Tishri we shall begin to go about again. In the meantime, I will instruct you in the evening...» Jesus becomes silent because He sees that sleep makes His words useless. He shakes His head smiling, while watching the group overwhelmed by fatigue and 261. In the House of Dora and Philip. 402 sleeping in more or less comfortable postures. There is dead silence in the house and in the sunny country. It looks like an enchanted place. Jesus goes to the door near the hedge of flowers and through the branches He contemplates the gentle Galilean hills, covered with grey still olive-trees. 3 A light shuffling is heard above His head together with the uncertain crying of a new-born baby. Jesus looks up and smiles at His Mother Who is coming down holding in Her arms a white little bundle from which three tiny red things emerge: a little head and two lively little fists. « Look, Jesus, what a beautiful baby! She is somewhat like You when You were one day old. Your hair was so fair, that You did not seem to have any, if it had not been even then raised in light curls like a woolly cloud, and You were as red as a rose as well. And, look, look, now that she has opened her little eyes here in the shade and she is looking for her mother's breast, her eyes are dark blue, like Yours... Oh! darling! But I have no milk, My dear little one, My little rose, My little dove! » and Our Lady lulls the baby who stops crying and falls asleep, gurgling like a little dove. « Mother, did You do that to Me also? » asks Jesus watching His Mother lull the baby, with Her cheek pressed against the little fair-haired head. « Yes, Son. But I called You “My little lamb.” She is beautiful, is she not? » « Really beautiful and strong. Her mother can be proud of her » confirms Jesus, Who is also stooped watching the sleep of the innocent child. « Instead she is not... Her husband is angry because all the children are girls. It is true that men are better for the fields we have. But it is no fault of our daughter...» says with a sigh the landlady who has just arrived. « They are young. Let them love each other and they will have boys also » says the Lord confidently. « Here is Philip... He will become gloomy now...» moans the upset woman. And in a louder voice she says: « Philip, the Rabbi of Nazareth is here. » « I am glad to see Him. Peace to You, Master. » « And to you, Philip. I saw your lovely baby. I am still looking at her, because she is really praiseworthy. God blesses you with beautiful, healthy and good children. You must be very grateful to Him... Are you not replying to Me? You seem to be annoyed...» « I was hoping it was a boy! » « You are not going to tell Me that you are unfair by accusing the innocent child of being a female or that you are going to be hard on your wife? » asks Jesus severely. « I wanted a boy! For the Lord and for myself! » exclaims Philip resentfully. « And do you think you are going to get one through injustice and rebellion? Have you perhaps read God's thought? Are you above Him that you may say to Him: “Do that because that is just?” This woman disciple of Mine has no children, for instance. And yet she said to Me: “I bless my sterility which gives me wings to follow You.” And this disciple, the mother of four sons, is anxious that all four of them may no longer belong to her. Is it true, Mary and Susanna? Do you hear them? And you, although you have been married only a few years to a fertile woman, and have been blessed with three rose-buds who seek your love, you are angry? With whom? Why? You do not want to tell Me? Well, I will tell you because you are selfish. Pocket your ill-feeling. Open your arms to this child born of your seed and love her. Come on! Take her! » and Jesus takes the little bundle of linens and lays it in the arms of the young father. He then resumes speaking: « Go to your wife, who is weeping, and tell her that you love her. Or God really will never give you a son. I am telling you. Go!...» The man goes up to his wife's room. « Thank You, Master! » whispers his mother-in-law. « He has been very rude since yesterday...» The man comes down after a few minutes and says: « I did it, my Lord. She thanks You. And she told me to ask You to name the baby because... in my unjust hatred I had decided on a name that was too ugly...» « Call her Mary. She has sucked bitter tears with the first drop of milk, which was also bitter because of your harshness, so she may be called Mary and Mary will love her. Is that right, Mother? » « Of course, poor little darling. And she is so pretty. And she will certainly be good and become a little star of Heaven. » 4 They go back into the large room where the apostles are fast asleep, with the 261. In the House of Dora and Philip. 403 exception of Judas, who seems to be on tenter hooks. « Did you want Me, Judas? » asks Jesus. « No, Master, but I cannot get to sleep and I would like to go out for a little while. » « Who stops you? I am going out as well. I am going up to that hillock. It is all in the shade... I will rest praying. Do you want to come with Me? » « No, Master. I would disturb You because I am not in condition to pray. Perhaps... perhaps I am not feeling very well and that is upsetting me...» « Stay here, then. I do not force anybody. Goodbye. Goodbye, women. Mother, when John of Endor wakes, send him to Me, by himself. » « Yes, Son. Peace be with You. » Jesus goes out, Mary and Susanna bend to watch the cloth on the loom. Mary sits down with Her hands in Her lap, slightly bent. Perhaps She is praying, too. Mary of Alphaeus soon tires of watching the work. She sits in the darkest corner and soon falls asleep. Susanna thinks it is a good idea and imitates her. Only Mary and Judas are awake: the former deeply absorbed in Her thoughts, the latter looking at Her with wide open gaze, which never leaves Her. In the end he gets up and approaches Her slowly and noiselessly. Although he is most definitely a handsome man, he gives me the impression of a feline or snake approaching its prey, I do not know why. Probably because I dislike him, I feel I that his very steps are deceitful and dangerous... He calls Her in a low voice: « Mary! » « What do you want from Me, Judas? » Mary asks kindly looking in him with Her most loving eyes. « I would like to speak to You...» « Do so. I am listening. » « Not here... I do not want anybody to hear me... Would You mind going out there for a moment? It is shady out there as well...» « Let us go... But see. They are all sleeping... you could have spoken here as well » says the Blessed Virgin. But she gets up and goes out before him leaning against the tall flowery hedge. « What do you want from Me, Judas? » She asks again, staring at the apostle who appears to be somewhat upset and to find difficulty in speaking. « Are you not feeling well? Or have you done something wrong and you do not know how to tell? Or do you feel t hat, you are on the point of doing something wrong and it is a burden for you to admit that you are tempted? Speak, son. As I cured your body, I will cure your soul. Tell Me what is upsetting you, and if I can I will help you. If I cannot do so by Myself, I will telI Jesus. Even if you had committed a grave sin, He will forgive you if I ask Him. Really, Jesus would forgive you at once, as well... But perhaps you are ashamed of Him, the Master. I am a mother... I do not make anyone feel ashamed...» « No, You do not, because You are a mother and You are so good. You are peace to all of us. 5 I feel... very upset. I have a very bad character, Mary. I do not know what I have in my blood and in my heart... Now and again I am no longer able to control them... and then I would do the strangest... and worst things. » « Even with Jesus near you, can you not resist temptation? » « Yes. And I suffer because of that, believe me. It is so. I am a poor wretch. » « I will pray for you, Judas. » « It is not enough. » « I will get just people to pray for you without telling them for whom it is. » « It is not enough. » « I will make children pray. So many of them come to Me, to My kitchen garden, like little birds looking for corn. And My caresses and the words I speak to them are corn to them. I speak to them of God... And they, little innocent souls, prefer that to games and tales. The prayer of children is pleasing to the Lord. » « Never as much as Yours. But it is still not enough. » « I will tell Jesus to pray the Father for you. » 261. In the House of Dora and Philip. 404 « It is still not sufficient. » « More than that is impossible! Jesus' prayer defeats also demons...» « Yes, but Jesus would not always pray. And I would go back to being myself... Jesus always says so, He will go away one day. must think of the time when I shall be without Him. Jesus now wants to send us evangelizing. I am afraid to go with this enemy of mine, which is myself, to spread the word of God. I would like to be already perfected. » « But, son, if not even Jesus is successful, who can ever be so?. « You, Mother! Let me stay a little while with You. Pagans and prostitutes have stayed with You. So I can stay as well. If You do not want me to be where You live, at night I will go and sleep at Alphaeus and Mary of Clopas', but I will spend the day with You and the children. In the past I tried to do things by myself, and made the situation worse. If I go to Jerusalem, I have too many wicked friends and in the situation I am in now, when I feel l like this, I become their laughing-stock... It is the same if I go to any other town. The temptation of the road burns me with this one which I already have. If I go to Kerioth, to my mother's, I become the slave of pride. If I withdraw to a solitary place, silence rends me with Satan's voices. But if I am staying with You, oh! I feel that it will be different!... Let me come! Tell Jesus to grant me this! Do You want me to be lost? Are You afraid of me? You are looking at me with the countenance of a wounded gazelle which has no strength left to escape its assailants. But I will not offend You. I have a mother, too... and I love You more than her. Have mercy on a sinner, Mary! Look: I am weeping at Your feet... If You reject me, it may be my spiritual death...» and Judas is really weeping at Mary's feet; She looks at him and Her eyes are full of pity and anguish mixed with fear. She is very pale. But She takes a step forward, because She had almost sunk into the hedge to keep away from Judas who was going too close to Her, and She lays a hand on Judas' dark hair. « Be quiet, lest they should hear you! I will speak to Jesus. And if He agrees... you will come to My house. I disregard the opinion of the world. It does not injure My soul. I would be horror-struck only at being guilt y towards God. Calumny leaves Me cold. No one will speak ill of Me because Nazareth knows that its daughter does not cause scandal to Her town. In any case, let come what may, I am anxious that you may save your soul. I am now going to Jesus. Peace to you. » And She covers Herself with Her veil, which is white like Her dress and She walks fast along the path which leads up to a hillock covered with olive-trees. 6 She looks for Her Jesus and finds Him engrossed in meditation. « Son, it is I... Listen to Me!. « Oh! Mother! Have You come to pray with Me? What joy and relief You bring to Me! » « What is it, Son? Is Your soul anguished? Are You sad? Tell Your Mother! » « You have said it, anguished and tired. Not so much because of work or of the miseries I see in hearts, as for the immutability of My friends. But I do not wish to be unfair to them. One only worries Me: Judas of Simon...» « Son, I have come to speak to You of him...» « Has he wronged You? Has he grieved You? » « No. But I feel sorry for him just as I would feel sorry if I saw a very infected person... Poor son! How ill his soul is! » « And You feel sorry for him? Are You no longer afraid of Him? You were once...» « Son, My pity is even greater than My fear. And I would like to help You and him to save his soul. You can do everything, and You do not need Me. But You say that everybody must cooperate with Christ in redeeming... and that son needs to be redeemed so badly! » « What else can I do for him in addition to what I already do? » « You cannot do any more. But You could let Me do. He asked Me to let him stay in our house because he thinks that he will be able to get rid of his monster there... You are shaking Your head? You do not want? I will tell him...» « No, Mother. It is not that I do not want. I am shaking My head because I know that it is useless. Judas is like one who is drowning and although he realises that he is drowning, he rejects out of pride the rope that has been thrown to him to draw him to the shore. He has no will to come to the shore. Now and again, he is in terror of drowning and he seeks and invokes help, he clings to the rope... and then, seized once again by pride, he refuses help, rejects it, he wants to be independent... and he becomes heavier and heavier because of the muddy water 261. In the House of Dora and Philip. 405 that swallows him down. But as I wish to leave no stone unturned, let that be done as well, poor Mother... Yes, poor Mother, as You are subjecting Yourself, for the love of a soul, to the pain of having near You... one who frightens You. » « No, Jesus. Do not say that. I am a poor woman because I am still subject to antipathies. Reproach Me. I deserve it. I should not be disgusted at anybody, for Your sake. That is why I am a poor woman. Oh! I wish I could give You back Judas spiritually cured! To give You a soul is to give You a treasure. And the person who gives a treasure is not poor. Son!... Shall I go and tell Judas that it is all right, that You agree? You said once: “The day will come when You will say: `How difficult it is to be the Mother of the Redemptor' “ I have already said it once... for Aglae... But what is once only? Mankind is so numerous! And You are the Redeemer of all men. Son!... Son!... As I held the little baby in My arms to bring her to You to be blessed, let Me hold Judas in My arms, that I may bring him to Your blessing...» « Mother... Mother... He does not deserve You...» « Jesus, when You hesitated to give Marjiam to Peter, I told You that it would be beneficial to him. You cannot deny that Peter has become a new man since that moment... Let Me try with Judas. » « Let it be done as You wish! And may You be blessed for Your loving intention towards Me and Judas! Now let us pray together, Mother. It is so pleasant to pray with You!...»... 7 ... The sun is just beginning to set when I see them depart front the house that gave them hospitality. John of Endor and Ermasteus take leave of Jesus as soon as they reach the road. Mary with the women instead proceeds with Her Son along a road through the olive-groves on the hills. They are talking of the events of the day. Peter says: « Philip must be really crazy! He was almost going to disown his wife and daughter, if You had not been there to make him listen to reason. » « Let us hope that he will persevere in his repentance and he does not have another fit of bad temper against females. After all... it is due to women that the world goes on » says Thomas and many laugh at his witty remark. « It is certainly true. But they are more unclean than we are and...» replies Bartholomew. « Never! With regard to uncleanliness... we are not angels either! Now, I would like to know whether after Redemption it will always be the same for women. They teach us to honour mothers, and hold in great respect sisters, daughters, aunts, daughters- and sisters-in-law and then... Anathema here, anathema there! The Temple is out of question. Many times we are not allowed to approach them... Eve sinned? Agreed. But also Adam sinned. God punished Eve... and very severely. Is that not enough? » « Thomas! Moses also considers women unclean. » « And Moses, without women, would have been drowned... But, mind you, Bartholomew, although I am not so learned as you are, as I am only a goldbeater, I would remind you that Moses mentions the bodily uncleanliness of women so that we may respect them, not to anathematise them. » 8 The debate is becoming livelier. Jesus, Who was ahead of them with the women and John and Judas Iscariot, stops and turning around He comes in to the discussion: « God had in front of Him a people which was morally and spiritually amorphous and contaminated by connections with idolaters. He wanted to make the people physically and spiritually strong. Thus the precepts He gave were instructions beneficial to both physical strength and moral honesty. He could not do otherwise to check the lust of men and thus prevent repetition of the sins which caused the earth to be submerged and Sodom and Gomorrah to be burned down. But in future the redeemed woman will not be oppressed as she is now. Prohibitions concerning physical prudence will remain, but obstacles to her coming to the Lord will be removed. I am already removing them to prepare the first priestesses of the future era. » « Oh! Will there be priestesses?! » asks Philip who is almost dumbfounded. « Do not misunderstand Me. They will not be priestesses like men, they will not consecrate and will not administer the gifts of God, which you are not yet capable of understanding. But they will belong to the sacerdotal class, cooperating in many ways with priests to the benefit of souls. » « Will they preach? » asks Bartholomew incredulously. « As My Mother already preaches. » « Will they make apostolic pilgrimages? » asks Matthew. « Yes, they will. They will take faith very far, and I must admit it, with greater heroism than men. » « Will they work miracles? » asks the Iscariot laughing. « Some will work also miracles. But do not consider miracles the essential thing. They, being holy women, will work many miracles of conversions through their prayers. » « Bah! Will women pray to the extent of working miracles! » grumbles Nathanael. « Do not be narrow-minded like a scribe, Bartholomew. What is prayer, according to you? » « To address God by means of the formulae known to us. » « That and much more. Prayer is the conversation of the heart with God and it ought to be the habitual state of man. Women, because of their more retired lives than ours and because of their affective faculties that are stronger than ours, are inclined to such conversation with God more than we are. They find comfort to their sorrows in it, relief in their work, which is not only the work in the house and in procreating, but also in tolerating us men, they find what wipes their tears and brings peace and joy to their hearts. Because they know how to speak to God and they will know even better in future. Men will be giants in doctrine, women will be those who support men and the world with their prayers, because many misfortunes will be avoided through their prayers and many punishments will be withheld. They will thus work miracles, invisible in most cases and known to God only, but not less real. » « You also worked an invisible but real miracle today. Is that right, Master? » asks Thaddeus. « Yes, brother. » « It would have been better to work a visible one » remarks Philip. « Did you want Me to change the little girl into a boy? A miracle really is the alteration of what has been destined, a beneficial disorder, thus, which God grants to hear the prayer of man and thus prove to him that He loves him, or that He is He Who is. But. since God is order He never violates order immoderately. The child was born a female, and a female she will stay. » 9 « I was so distressed this morning! » says the Blessed Virgin with a sigh. « Why? The loveless baby was not Yours » says Susanna. And she adds: « When I see an unfortunate child I say: “Luckily for me I have none!” » « Do not say so, Susanna! It is not charitable. I also could say so because My only Maternity is beyond natural laws. But I do not say that, because I always think: “If God had not wanted Me to be a virgin, that seed might have fallen on Me, and I would be the mother of the unhappy child”, and thus I pity them all... Because I say: “He might have been My son” and as a mother I would like all children to be good, healthy, loved and loving, because every mother wishes that for her own children » replies Mary kindly. And Jesus seems to envelop Her in light, so radiantly He looks at Her. « That is why You pity me...» says the Iscariot in a low voice. « I pity everybody. Even if one were the murderer of My Son. Because I think that he would be the most in need of help... and love. Because the whole world would certainly hate him. » « Donna, You would have to work hard defending him to give him time to repent... I would get rid of him immediately...» says Peter. « This is where we part, Mother, God be with You. And with you, Mary. And with you, too, Judas. » They kiss one another and Jesus adds: « Remember that I have granted you a great thing, Judaas. Make it beneficial and not detrimental to you. Goodbye. » And Jesus with the eleven apostles left and Susanna goes eastwards at a quick pace, while Mary, Her sister-in-law and the Iscariot go straight ahead.