Tuesday, November 5, 2024
401. Simon of Jonah's Struggle and Spiritual Victory.
401. Simon of Jonah's Struggle and Spiritual Victory. 25th March 1946. In Nomine Domini. And I am resuming, at long last, to write about you, o sweet Gospel, following my Master holily along the roads of Palestine! I resume you after fulfilling all my tasks in obedience to the orders. It would be better to say: «You resume me.» I do not know whether anyone ponders on the mute but so instructive lesson that the Lord gives through His silence, brought about by three different reasons: 1st pity for the weakness of His sick mouthpiece who at times is almost dying; 2nd silence as a punishment for those who do not conform properly to His gift; 3rd the lesson that He gives me, and of which I wish to speak, of our duty to always obey, even if obedience may seem inferior to the work we have to interrupt in order to obey. Oh! it is not easy to be a «mouthpiece»! One lives in continuous vigilance and obedience. And Jesus, Who is the Master of the world, does not take the liberty of allowing His instrument to disobey an order, when obedience is exacted by a person authorised to do so. During the past days I had to obey the orders given to me by Father Migliorini. They were bureaucratic matters and thus rather boring. But Jesus never interfered because I had to obey. And my obedience was to be precise and complete, as Azariah said yesterday explaining Holy Mass. But now, as I have done everything, I can contemplate You, my Lord, while You descend the steep path towards the fertile valley, leaving behind the castle of Bether, still bright in the dying day, up there, on the flowery hill... leaving there the love of the women disciples, of the little ones, of the humble people, descending towards the roads that take to Jerusalem, towards the world, towards the lower part... And it is darker there not only because it is a «valley» and thus sunshine and light are no longer there, but above all because down there, in the world, there are snares, bitter hatred, so much evil waiting for You, my Lord... Jesus is ahead of them all: a white silent figure, walking stately also while descending uncomfortable abrupt paths, taken to shorten the journey. In the descent His long tunic and wide mantle trail on the ground and Jesus seems already enveloped in a royal mantle with a train behind His steps. Behind Him, not so majestic, but equally silent, are the apostles... Judas, a little outdistanced, is last: he looks ugly in his rage. Now and again the more simple ones: Andrew, Thomas, turn round and look at him, and Andrew says to him: «Why are you remaining all alone, so far behind? Are you not feeling well?». His question brings about a sharp reply: «Mind your own business» that surprises Andrew, also because it is followed by a rude epithet. Peter is second in the line of the apostles, behind James of Alphaeus, who is immediately behind the Master. And Peter hears the rude reply, in the deep silence of the evening. And he turns round abruptly and is about to go back towards Judas. But he stops. He is pensive for a moment, then runs towards Jesus, He takes Him brusquely by the arm and shakes Him saying eagerly: «Master, can You assure me that what You told me the other evening is really true? That sacrifices and prayers never lack success, even if they seem to serve no purpose?...» 401. Simon of Jonah's Struggle and Spiritual Victory. 441 Jesus, meek, sad, pale, looks at His Simon who is perspiring in the effort not to react at once to the insult, and is purple and trembling, and perhaps is hurting Him as he is holding His arm so roughly, and He replies with a peaceful sad smile: «They are never without reward. You may rest assured.» Peter leaves Him and goes away, not to his place, but to the slope of the mountain, among the trees and he gives vent to his feelings by breaking shrubs and young plants with a violence that was directed elsewhere but is discharged here on tree-trunks. «What are you doing? Are you mad?» many ask him. Peter does not reply. He goes on breaking. He lets all the apostles, including Judas, overtake him, while he breaks... and breaks. He is so fast that he seems to be on piece-work. At his feet there is a bundle of sticks that would suffice to roast a veal. He loads it on to his shoulder with some difficulty and he strives to reach his companions. I do not know how he can manage − hampered as he is by his mantle − the weight, his haversack and the uncomfortable path. But he proceeds with a stoop, as if he were under the yoke... And Judas laughs seeing him and says: «You look like a slave!» Peter looks up with difficulty from under the yoke and is about to say something. But he remains silent, he grinds his teeth and goes on. «I will help you, brother» says Andrew. «No.» «But that wood is too much for a lamb» remarks James of Zebedee. Peter does not reply. He proceeds. He must be exhausted. But he does not give up. At last, at a grotto almost at the bottom of the descent, Jesus stops with all the apostles. «We are staying here, and we will leave at daybreak» orders the Master. «Prepare the supper.» Peter then throws his load on the ground and sits on it, without explaining to anybody the reason for his great effort, while there is plenty firewood about. But when the apostles move around, some to get drinking water, some to clean the floor of the grotto, some to wash the lamb before cooking it, and Peter is left alone with his Master, Jesus, standing up, lays His hand on Simon's grey-haired head, and caresses that honest head... Peter then clasps that hand and kisses it, he holds it against his cheek, kisses it again and caresses it... A drop falls on the white hand, a drop which is not perspiration of the coarse honest apostle, but a silent tear of love and suffering, of victory after the struggle. And Jesus bends and kisses him saying: «Thank you, Simon!» Peter is certainly not a handsome man. But when he throws back his head to look at his Jesus Who has kissed him and thanked him, because He only has understood, veneration and joy do make him handsome... And the vision ends on this transformation.
400. Farewell to Bether.
400. Farewell to Bether. 16th March 1946. I do not know how I shall manage to write, worn out as I am with continual heart attacks by day and by night... But I am beginning to see and I must write. I see Jesus before the mansion-house of Johanna at Bether. The garden in front of it widens out forming a semicircular open space by means of two green pincer-shaped wings. The central part of the open space is bare and is bordered by old tall leafy trees rustling in the light breeze blowing on the top of this hill, and casting a pleasant shade that protects from the sun in afternoons. Hedges of roses beneath the trees form a colourful sweet-smelling semicircle around the open space. The sun is about to set and, as this castle is on a high position, one can clearly see that it is descending towards the horizon and is about to hide behind the western mountains. Andrew points those mountains to Philip, reminding him of their fear, when they had to announce the Lord at Bethginna. Bethginna is in fact on those mountains, where the Lord the previous year cured the daughter of the hotel-keeper, at the beginning of His pilgrimage towards the Mediterranean shores, if my memory does not fail me. I am all alone, so I cannot get anyone to give me the copy-books of months ago to check, and my head just cannot remember. All the apostles are present. I do not know what happened when Jesus and Judas met. Apparently everything went very well, because I do not see any standoffishness or excitement in anybody and Judas is free and easy and cheerful, as if nothing had happened. In fact he is very kind also to the most humble servants, which is most unusual of him, particularly when he is upset. Eliza is still here and also Anastasica, who has certainly come here with the apostles and Eliza's maidservant. And there is Chuza, who is very ceremonious and is holding Matthias by the hand. Johanna is near Eliza and little Mary is beside her. Jonathan is behind his mistress. Jesus is protected from the sun, which is still shining on the western side of the house, by a tent that has been stretched out on ropes and poles, like a canopy. All the servants and gardeners of Bether, including casual labourers from the village, which comes under the castle, are before Jesus. They are in the shade of the leafy trees of the semicircle, protected from the sun and are standing in silence, lined up, awaiting the blessing of the Master, Who seems to be on the point of departing and is only waiting for sunset to indicate the end of the Sabbath. Jesus is now speaking to Chuza a little aside. I do not know what He is saying to him, because they are speaking in low voices. But I see that Chuza is lavish in bows and protestations, and presses his right hand against his breast, as if to say: «Upon my word, You may rest assured that as far as I am concerned» etc. The apostles have gathered discreetly in a corner. But no one can prevent them from watching, and if Peter and Bartholomew are watching with the simple naturalness of people who are already somehow aware of the situation, the others, and particularly James of Alphaeus, John, Simon and Andrew, appear to be anxious and sad, while Judas of Alphaeus looks upset and severe. The Iscariot is the only exception, as he wishes to appear free and easy, whereas he watches more keenly than the others, and he seems to be anxious to make out, from the gestures of their hands and from their lips, what Jesus and Chuza are saying. The women disciples are also watching silently and respectfully, and Johanna 400. Farewell to Bether. 438 smiles unintentionally, a somewhat ironical smile in its sadness, and she seems to be pitying her husband when Chuza, raising his voice at the end of the conversation, declares: «My debt of gratitude is such that in no way will I ever be able to free myself from my obligation. I, therefore, give You what is dearest to me: my Johanna... But You must understand my provident love for her... Herod's wrath... her self-defence... They would have given vent to their anger by taking reprisals upon our property,... and our influence... and Johanna is accustomed to these things, she is delicate... she needs them... I protect her interests. But I swear to You that now that I am sure that Herod will not be angry at me, as if I were an accomplice of his enemy, although his servant, I will do nothing but serve You with perfect joy, granting complete freedom to Johanna...» «Very well. But remember that to barter eternal goods for a fleeting human honour, is like bartering one's birthright for a dish of lentils. And it is even much worse...» The women disciples have heard the words. The apostles have also heard them. And while most of them consider it an academic speech, Judas of Kerioth perceives a special purport and he changes colour and countenance, casting a frightened angry glance at Johanna... I realise that so far Jesus has not spoken of what happened, and that only now Judas begins to suspect that his trick has been found out. Jesus addresses Johanna saying: «Well, let us make our good disciple happy. As you wished, I will speak to your servants before leaving.» He comes forward, as far as the limit of the shade, which is growing longer and longer as the sun sets slowly, and now looks like an orange mutilated of its lower part; and the mutilation increases as the sun sets behind the mountains of Bethginna setting the clear sky ablaze. «My beloved friends Chuza and Johanna, and you, her good servants, who have known the Lord for many years through the words of My disciple Jonathan, and through Johanna's, since she has been My faithful disciple, listen. I have taken leave of all the Judaean villages, where My disciples are more numerous through the work of the first disciples, the shepherds, and because they have responded to the Word, Who passed by teaching them in order to save them. I am now taking leave of you because I will never come back to this Eden, which is so beautiful, not only because of the rose-bushes and peace reigning here, not only because of the excellent mastery which is sovereign here, but above all because you believe in the Lord and you live according to His Word. A paradise! Yes. What was the paradise of Adam and Eve? A wonderful garden where they lived without sin, where the voice of God resounded and His first two children loved and listened to it with joy... Well, I exhort you to watch that what happened in Eden may not happen to you: that the serpent of falsehood, of calumny, of sin may creep in and bite your hearts separating you from God. Be watchful and firm in your Faith... Do not fret. Do not be incredulous. That might happen because the Cursed One will enter, will strive to enter everywhere, as he has already entered many places, to destroy the work of God. And as long as the Sly, Cunning, Indefatigable One enters places, and searches, eavesdrops, lies in wait, slavers, endeavours to seduce, there is no great harm. Nothing and no one can prevent him from doing that. He did that in the Earthly Paradise... But it is much worse to let him stay there without driving him out. The enemy who is not chased away ends up by becoming the master of the place as he settles there and builds his defensive and offensive structures. Pursue him at once, put him to flight using the weapons of Faith, Charity, Hope in the Lord. But the greatest evil, the supreme evil is to let him live not only undisturbed amongst men, but to allow him to penetrate inside from the outside, and let him build his nest in the hearts of men. Oh! Then!! And yet many men have already received him in their hearts, against the Christ. They have welcomed Satan with his wicked passions driving away the Christ. If they had not yet known Christ in all His truth, if their knowledge of Him had been only superficial, as wayfarers know one another, when they meet by chance on a road, looking very often at one another just for a moment, people unknown to one another who meet for the first and last time, at times exchanging only few words to inquire about the right road, to ask for a pinch of salt, for tinder to light a fire, or a knife to cut some meat, if such were the knowledge of the Christ in such hearts, which today, and even more tomorrow drive the Christ away, more and more, to make room for Satan, they might still be pitied and treated mercifully because they did not know the Christ. But woe to those who know Me for what I really am, who have been nourished with My word and My love, and now drive Me away, receiving Satan who allures them with false promises of human triumphs, the reality of which will be eternal damnation. You who are humble and do not dream of thrones and crowns, who do not seek human glory, but the peace and triumph of God, His Kingdom, love and eternal life, and nothing else, do not imitate them. Be vigilant! Keep free from corruption, be strong against insinuations, against threats, against everything.» 400. Farewell to Bether. 439 Judas, who has realised that Jesus knows something, has become livid with anger. He darts angry looks at the Master and at Johanna... He withdraws behind his companions, as if he wished to lean against the wall. In actual fact he does so to conceal his disappointment. After a short interruption, which serves to separate the first part of His speech from the second one, Jesus goes on. He says: «There was once Naboth, a Jezreelite, who had a vineyard close by the palace of Ahab, king of Samaria. It was the vineyard of his ancestors, therefore most dear and almost sacred to him, as it had been bequeathed to him by his father, who had inherited it from his father, who in turn, had received it by inheritance from his father and so on. Generations of relatives had worked hard in that vineyard to make it more flourishing and beautiful. Naboth was very fond of it. Ahab said to him: “Give me your vineyard that is near my house, as I want to use it as a vegetable garden for myself and my family. In exchange for it I will give you a better vineyard, or if you prefer, I will give you its worth in money.” But Naboth replied: “I am sorry to disappoint you, king. But I cannot satisfy your request. I received that vineyard by inheritance from my ancestors and it is sacred to me. God forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” Let us meditate on that reply. It has been meditated on too little and by too few Israelites. Those whom I mentioned before, the majority of people, who are inclined to drive away the Christ to welcome Satan, do not have much respect for the inheritance of their ancestors, and provided they get much money or a great deal of land, that is, honours and the certainty that they will not be easily supplanted, they agree to give away the inheritance of their ancestors: that is, the Messianic idea for what it really is, as it was revealed to the saints of Israel, and should be held sacred in all its details, also the least ones, without tampering with it, or altering it, or degrading it with human limitations. How many barter the bright Messianic idea, entirely holy and spiritual, for a puppet of human regality, which they agitate as a bugaboo to injure and curse authorities and truth! I, Mercy, do not go to the extent of anathematising them with the dreadful maledictions of Moses against the transgressors of the Law. But behind Mercy there is Justice. Let everybody bear that in mind! I, as far as I am concerned, remind them − and if there is anyone present here, let him accept My warning with good grace I remind them of other words of Moses, addressed to those who wanted to count more than God had decided for them. Moses said to Korah, Dathan and Abiram, who said that they were equal to Moses and Aaron and rebelled against being considered only as the sons of Levi among the people of Israel: “Tomorrow the Lord will reveal who is His, who are the consecrated men that He will allow to come near Him. Those He allows to come near Him are the ones He has chosen. Put fire in your censers and incense on the fire before the Lord, and come, you and your followers with Aaron. And we shall see whom the Lord chooses. You take too much on yourselves, sons of Levi!” My good Israelites, you know how God answered those who wanted to extol themselves too much, forgetting that God only allots positions to His children, electing them with justice to the right position. I also must say: “There are some who wish to exalt themselves too much and they will be punished so that good people will understand that they cursed the Lord.” Those who barter the Messianic idea, as it was revealed by the Most High, for their poor, human, dull, limited, revengeful idea, are they not like those who wanted to judge the sacredness of Moses and Aaron? Do you not think that those who want to take initiatives of their own, proudly stating that they are better than God's, so that they may attain their object and have their poor plans accomplished, do you not think that they want to exalt themselves too much and pass illegally from the stock of Levi to the stock of Aaron? Those who dream of a poor king of Israel and prefer him to the spiritual King of kings, those whose eyes are diseased with pride and greed, whereby they see the eternal truth written in the holy books distorted, and those who cannot understand the most clear words of the revealed Truth because of the fever of their lustful humanity, are they not the ones who barter the heritage of the whole race, the most sacred heritage, for a worthless nothing? But if they do so, I will not barter the inheritance of the Father and of our ancestors, and I will die faithful to the promise, which has been alive since there was the need for redemption, and I will be faithful to the obedience which has always existed, because I have never disappointed My Father, and I will never disappoint Him for fear of death, however dreadful death may be. Let My enemies produce false witnesses, let them feign zeal and perfect practices. That will not change their crime or affect My holiness. But he and those who, after corrupting him, have become his accomplices, think that they can take possession of what is Mine, will find dogs and vultures feeding on their blood and bodies on the Earth, and demons feeding on their sacrilegious deicide souls 400. Farewell to Bether. 440 in Hell. I told you that, so that you may know. So that everybody may know. So that who is wicked may repent, while he is still in time, imitating Ahab, and who is good may not be upset in the hour of darkness. Goodbye, children of Bether. May the God of Israel always be with you and may Redemption let dew descend on a clean field, so that all the seed, sown in your hearts by the Master, Who loved you even unto death, may germinate.» Jesus blesses them and watches them go away slowly. The sun has set. Only a red hue, which slowly fades into violet, remains as remembrance of the sun. The Sabbath rest is over. Jesus can leave. He kisses the little ones, greets the women disciples and Chuza. And when He is near the gate, He turns round again and says in a loud voice, so that everybody may hear: «I will speak, when I can, to those people. But you, Johanna, do the necessary to let them know that I am the enemy of Sin only and the King of the spirit. And remember that, too, Chuza. And be not afraid. No one must be afraid of Me. Not even sinners, because I am Salvation. Only those who are unrepentant unto death must fear the Christ, Who will be Judge after being Infinite Love... Peace be with you» and He is the first to go out and begin to descend...
399. Jesus at Bether with Peter and Bartholomew.
399. Jesus at Bether with Peter and Bartholomew. 13th March 1946. Jesus is walking through the rose thickets where the gatherers are busy. He has thus the opportunity of speaking to this person and that one, and also to the widow, whom Johanna charitably employed as a servant at Passover, after the poor people's banquet. Her children are also there and they now look better. Thriving and serene they are working happily, each according to his own ability, while the younger ones, who cannot yet tell one rose from another or choose them according to their shades and freshness, are playing with other little children in the quietest places and their chattering mingles with the chirruping of nestlings greeting from tree branches the return of their parents with beakfuls of food. Jesus turns His steps towards these little ones, bending over them, caressing them, settling little quarrels and lifting up those who have fallen and are whimpering, as they have dirtied themselves with earth or have scratched their hands or faces on the ground. And tears, quarrels, jealousies subside at once under the caresses and the words spoken by the Innocent One to innocents, and the cause of the quarrel or of the fall, that is a golden scarab, a coloured or shiny little stone, a flower... becomes an offer made to Jesus, Who has hands and belt full of them and Who, without being noticed, puts scarabs and ladybirds on the leaves of plants releasing them. How many times I have now noticed Jesus' perfect tact towards little ones, in order not to mortify and disappoint them! With fascinating art He knows how to improve them and He makes Himself loved with what is apparently a mere trifle, but is instead the perfection of love adapted to the smallness of children... and to me. 399. Jesus at Bether with Peter and Bartholomew. 435 Oh! He has always treated me as a «baby» to improve my misery, to make Himself loved! Afterwards, when I loved Him with my whole self, He treated me with a heavy hand, as an adult, turning a deaf ear to my entreaties: «Can You not see that I am a good-for-nothing?» He smiled and compelled me to perform the work of adults... Oh! only when poor Mary is thoroughly distressed, He becomes once again the Jesus of children for my poor soul, which is so incapable, and He is pleased with... my scarabs, little stones... flowers... with what I can give Him... and He makes me understand that He finds that they are lovely... and that He loves me because I am «a nonentity that relies on and is lost in The Infinite.» My dear Jesus! Loved, madly loved! Loved with my whole self! Yes, I can declare it! On the eve of my forty-ninth birthday, on the eve of men's judgement on my work as mouthpiece, if I examine myself carefully, if I diligently search my spirit and my whole self to decipher the true words that are in me, I can now say that I love God, I realise that I love my God with my whole self. It took me forty-eight years to get to this total love, so total as not to have one thought of personal fear in the prevision of a condemnation, as I only worried about the repercussions such conviction might have in the souls that were led to God by me, and are convinced that they were redeemed by Jesus living in me, and would break off from the Church, the link joining mankind to God. Some people may say: «Are you not ashamed of having taken such a long time?» No, not in the least. I was so weak, such a mere nothing, that it took me all that time. In any case I am convinced that it took me exactly the time that Jesus wanted. Not one minute more, not one less; because I can say this: since I began to understand what is God, I have never refused God anything. Since the time, when I a four-year-old girl − felt Him to be so omnipresent that I believed Him to be even in the wood of the back of the chair on which I sat and I apologised to Him for turning my back on Him and leaning on Him; since the time when − still a fouryear-old girl − even in my sleep I pondered how our sins had wounded and killed Him, and I would stand up on my bed, in my long night-gown, and without looking at any holy picture, but addressing my beloved Jesus killed on our behalf, I would implore Him: «Not I! Not I! Let me die but don't tell me that I wounded You!» And my heart rose... You are aware, o my Love, of my fervent emotions. You are acquainted with every one of them... You know that a simple hint of a proposal of Yours was accepted at once by Your Mary. Even if You proposed that I should give You the love of a sweetheart nay just then, at Christmas in 1921, my love for You was confirmed − or the love of relatives, or my life, health, wealth... and that I should become more and more a «nonentity» in social life, a piece of wreckage looked upon with pity or derision by the world, one that cannot take a glass of water by herself if she is thirsty and there is no one who hands it to her, one nailed like You, yes like You, and as I have so eagerly wished to be, and as I would like to become immediately once again, if You should cure me. Everything! The nonentity has given everything, her whole being as a creature... Well, even now, yes even now, when I may be judged badly and interdicted and I may be struck, what shall I say to You? «Remain with me, You and Your Grace. All the rest is nothing. I only beg You not to deprive me of Your love and not to allow those, whom I brought to You, to fall back into darkness.» But where have I gone, o my Sun, while You are walking around the rose thickets? Where my heart, that has made an effort of love for You, leads me. And it throbs and inflames the blood in my veins. And people will say: «She has a temperature and is suffering from palpitations.» No. The fact is that this morning You are rushing into me with the strength of a divine hurricane of love, and I... and I vanish in You as You pervade me, and I no longer think straight as a human creature, but I experience what it must be to live as seraphim... and I am inflamed and delirious and I love You, I love You, I love You. Have pity, in Your love! Have pity, if You want me to live on and serve You, o most divine eternal Love, o most sweet Love, o Love of Heaven and of Creation, God, God, God... No! Do not have pity! Even more love! Even more! To the extent of death on the stake of love! Let us melt into each other! Let us love each other! That we may be in the Father, as You said praying for us: «Let those who love Me be where We are. One thing only.» One thing only! That is one of the words of the Gospel that have always made me sink into an abyss of loving adoration. What You asked for us, o my Divine Master and Redeemer! What You asked, o my Divine Master, mad in love! That we may be one only with You, with the Father, with the Holy Spirit, because who is in One is in the Three, o inseparable and yet free Trinity of the God One and Trine! Blessed! Blessed! Blessed with each throb and breathing of mine!... But let us go back to the vision since... I now see Peter coming forward with so rapid a step that his garments flutter like a sail swollen by the wind. He is followed by Bartholomew who is proceeding more calmly. Peter arrives unexpectedly behind Jesus, Who is bent fondling some sucklings, the children of the gatherers, lying on folding seats in the shade of trees. «Master!» 399. Jesus at Bether with Peter and Bartholomew. 436 «Simon! How come you are here? And you, too, Bartholomew? You were to leave tomorrow evening, after the sunset of the Sabbath...» «Master, do not reproach us... Listen to us first.» «I will listen to you. And I do not reproach you because I believe that you must have a grave reason for disobeying. But reassure Me that none of you is ill or hurt.» «No, no, Lord. No harm befell us» Bartholomew hastens to add. But Peter, always sincere and impulsive, states: «H'm! As far as I am concerned, it would have been better if each of us had broken legs, or even if our heads were injured, rather than...» «But what happened?» «Master, we thought that it was better to come to put an end to... » Bartholomew is saying, when Peter interrupts him: «Hurry up in telling Him!» And he concludes: «Judas has become a demon since You left. We could no longer speak or reason. He has quarrelled with everybody... And he has scandalised all the servants of Eliza and other people as well...» «Perhaps he has become jealous because You took Simon with You...» says Bartholomew apologetically, when he sees that Jesus' countenance has become very severe. «Nonsense! What jealousy?! Stop excusing him!... Or I will start quarrelling with you to give vent to my feelings, since I did not brawl with him... Because, Master, I succeeded in being quiet! Just imagine! Quiet! To obey You and for Your sake... What an effort! Well. When Judas went away slamming the door, we consulted with one another... and we thought it was better to leave in order to put an end to the scandal in Bethzur and... to avoid boxing his ears... And Bartholomew and I left at once. I asked the others to let me go at once, before he came back... because... because I felt that I could not control myself any longer... Well. I have told You. You can now reproach me if You think that I made a mistake.» «You have done the right thing. You have all done the right thing.» «Also Judas? Oh! no, my Lord! Don't say that! He made a deplorable spectacle of himself!» «No. He did not do the right thing. But it is not for you to judge him.» «No, Lord...» His «no» is uttered with great difficulty. There is a moment's silence. Then Peter asks: «But will You at least tell me why Judas has become thus all of a sudden? He seemed to have become so good! Everything was so pleasant! I said prayers and made sacrifices that it might last... Because I cannot see You depressed. And You are distressed when we misbehave... And since the feast of the Dedication I know that even the sacrifice of a spoonful of honey is of great value... A disciple, the youngest disciple, a poor boy, had to teach this truth to me, Your stupid apostle. But I did not neglect it. Because I saw its fruit. Because I also, although a blockhead, have understood something through the light of Wisdom that bent benignly over me, touching me, a coarse fisherman, a sinner. I have understood that we must love You not only with words, but by saving souls with our sacrifice, in order to give You joy, and not see You as You are now, as You were at Shebat. You are so pale and sad, my Master and Lord, Whom we are not worthy to have, Whom we do not understand, as we are worms near You, the Son of God, we are mud near You, the Star, we are darkness, You are Light. But it was of no avail! It is true! My poor offerings... so poor... so badly made... What purpose could they serve? It was pride on my part to believe that they might serve... Forgive me. But I gave You what I had. I offered myself to give You what I have. And I thought that I was justified, because I love You, my God, with all myself, with all my heart, and with all my soul, with all my strength, as it is written. And now I understand also this and I also say what John, our angel, always says, and I beg You (and he kneels at Jesus' feet) to increase Your love in Your poor Simon, so that my love may increase for You, my God.» And Peter prostrates himself to kiss Jesus' feet, and remains thus. Bartholomew, who has been listening admiring and assenting, imitates him. «Stand up, My friends. My love grows deeper and deeper in you and will grow more and more. And may you be blessed because of your hearts. When are the others coming?» «Before sunset.» «Very well. Also Johanna, Eliza and Chuza will come back before sunset. We shall spend the Sabbath here, and then we shall leave.» «Yes, my Lord. But why did Johanna send for You so urgently? Could she not 399. Jesus at Bether with Peter and Bartholomew. 437 have waited? It had been arranged for us to come here! Through her imprudence she has caused all this trouble!...» «Do not reproach her, Simon of Jonah. She acted out of prudence and love. She sent for Me because there were souls to be confirmed in their good will.» «Ah! In that case I will say no more... But, my Lord, why has Judas changed so much?» «Forget about it! Enjoy this Eden, so full of flowers and peace. Enjoy your Lord. Leave and forget about humanity in all its worse forms, in its attacks against the soul of your poor companion. Remember only to pray for him... very hard. Come. Let us go to those little ones who are looking at us full of amazement. I was speaking to them of God, a little while ago, from soul to soul, with love, and I was talking to the bigger ones through the beautiful things of God...» And He embraces the waists of His two apostles and turns His steps towards a group of children waiting for Him.
398. At Bether.
398. At Bether. 12th March 1946. Jesus, followed by the Zealot who is leading by the reins the little donkey on which Eliza is riding, knocks at the door of the keeper at Bether. They have not taken the same road as the last time and they have arrived at Johanna's estate from the village spread on the western slopes of the mountain on which the castle rises. The keeper, who recognises the Lord, hastens to open the gate wide, which is beside his little house and admits to the garden before the residence and is the beginning of the land of dreams, that is, of the rose gardens of Johanna. A strong scent of fresh roses and of attar of roses stagnates in the warm air at twilight and when the first evening breeze blows from the east causing the rosebushes to undulate, the scent becomes stronger, fresher and more genuine, because it comes from the hillocks planted with roseries and it overwhelms the heavy smell of the essence coming from a low wide shed placed against the western wall of the estate. The keeper says: «My mistress is over there. She goes there every evening, where the workers, who pluck the flowers and make the essence, gather. She speaks to them, asks them questions, cures them and comforts them. Oh! our mistress is good. She has always been. But... since she has been Your disciple... I will call her now... This is a very busy time and the usual workers are not enough, although since Passover she has taken on new servants and maidservants. Wait here, Lord...» «No, I will go to her. May God bless you and give you peace» says Jesus raising His hand to bless the old keeper, to whom He has been listening patiently. And He goes towards the low wide shed. The noise of His steps on the hard ground makes Matthias − a rather curious little boy − look out and rush out with a cry, arms outstretched, inviting and desiring an embrace. «Jesus is here! Jesus is here!» he shouts while running. And when he is already in the arms of the Lord, Who kisses him, Johanna looks out from the middle of her servants. «The Lord!» she shouts, too, and falls on her knees on the spot to venerate Him at once. She prostrates herself and then stands up, with her face tinged purple with emotion, like the petal of a bright rose. She then moves towards Jesus. And she stoops to kiss His feet. «Peace to you, Johanna. Did you want Me? I have come.» «Yes, I wanted You, Lord...» Johanna turns pale and grave. Jesus notices it. «Stand up, Johanna. Is Chuza well?» «Yes, my Lord.» «And little Mary, whom I do not see here?» «Also, Lord... She has gone with Esther to take some medicines to a servant who is ill.» «Is that why you called Me?» «No, Lord... It was for... You.» Johanna clearly does not want to speak in the presence of all the people who have crowded round them. Jesus understands and says: «All right. Let us go and see your roseries...» 398. At Bether. 432 «You must be tired, Lord. You will have to eat... You must be thirsty...» «No. During the hot hours we stopped in the house of disciples of the shepherds. I am not tired...» «Let us go then... Jonathan, prepare everything for the Lord and for those who are with Him... Come down, Matthias...» she orders the steward, who is standing respectfully beside her, and the little boy, who has cuddled in Jesus' arms, resting his dark-haired head in the hollow of Jesus' neck, like a little dove under its father's wing. The boy sighs heavily, but he hastens to obey. But Jesus says: «No. He will come with us and will give us no trouble. He will be the little angel in whose presence nothing scandalous can be said or done and will thus prevent the least suspicion from arising in anybody's heart. Let us go...» «Master, shall Eliza and I go into the house, or do You want us to come with You?» asks the Zealot. «You may go.» Johanna leads Jesus along the wide avenue, which divides the garden, towards the roseries that climb up and down the opposite slopes of her flowery estate. And she proceeds further, as if she wished to stand aloof where there are only rose-bushes, trees and little birds among the branches, in their last quarrels to find a place where to sleep or preparing their nestlings for the night. The roses, which this evening are closed buds and will open tomorrow and be cut with shears, smell sweetly before resting in the dew. They stop in a little valley between two undulations of the ground, where festoons of flesh-coloured roses smile on one side, and roses as red as congealing blood on the other. There, is a rock that is used as a seat, or as a table on which gatherers place their baskets. Shrivelled roses and petals lying among the grass and on the rock witness the day's work. With her ring-adorned hand Johanna sweeps the waste flowers off the seat and says: «Sit down, Master. I have quite a lot to tell You.» Jesus sits down and Matthias begins to run about on the grass until he finds it very interesting to chase a big frog, which had come there to enjoy the cool of the evening and he follows the poor creature, shouting and jumping joyfully, until his attention is attracted by the hole of a cricket and he begins to rummage in it with a little stick. «Johanna, I am here to listen to you... Are you not going to speak?» asks Jesus after a moment's silence and He stops watching the boy, to look at the disciple who is standing before Him serious and silent. «Yes, Master. But... it is very difficult and I think it will be painful to hear...» «Speak with simplicity and confidence...» Johanna kneels on the grass half-sitting on her heels, below Jesus, Who is sat higher up, on the seat, in an austere rigid attitude; as a man, He is more distant than if He were separated quite away by several obstacles, but as God and a Friend, He is close because of the kindness of His glance and His smile. And Johanna looks at Him in the mild twilight of a May evening. At last she speaks: «My Lord... before speaking... I must ask You a question... to know what You think... to ascertain whether I have misunderstood Your words. I am a woman, a foolish woman... perhaps I have dreamed and only now I know the real situation... as You explained things, as You prepared them, as You want them for Your Kingdom... Perhaps Chuza is right... and I am wrong...» «Has Chuza reproached you?» «He has and he has not, Lord. He only said to me, with the authority of a husband, that if the situation is as recent facts make him think it is, I must leave You, because he, as Herod's dignitary, cannot allow his wife to conspire against Herod.» «And when have you been a conspiratress? Who is thinking of harming Herod? His poor throne, which is so filthy, is inferior to this seat among these rosebushes. I am sitting here, but I would not sit there. Chuza need not worry! I have no desire for Caesar's throne, never mind Herod's. They are not My thrones, or My kingdoms.» «Oh! Is that so, Lord? May You be blessed! How much peace You give me! I have been suffering for days because of that! My holy and divine Master, my dear Master, my Master as I always understood, saw and loved You, so high, so high above the Earth, so... so divine, o my Lord and heavenly King!» and Johanna takes Jesus' hand and respectfully kisses the back of it, on her knees, as if she were in adoration. «But what happened? Something of which I am unaware, which could upset you so much as to dim in you the pellucidity of My moral and spiritual figure? Tell Me!» 398. At Bether. 433 «What? Master, the fumes of error, of pride, of greed, of stubbornness have risen as if from fetid craters and have obscured You in the opinion of some men and women... and they tried to do the same with me. But I am Your Johanna, Your grace, o God. And I would not have got lost, at least I hope so, knowing how good is God, but who is only the embryo of a soul struggling to improve, may die through deceit. And he who is in an oozy sea, roughened by heavy currents, and strives to reach the shore, the harbour, to be purified and find other places of peace and justice, may be overcome by tiredness, if he loses confidence in the shore and those places, and may be swept away again by the currents and the mud. And I was sorry for and worried about the ruin of such souls, for whom I implore Your Light. The souls we perfect in the eternal Light are dearer to us than the bodies we give birth to in the earthly light. I now understand what it is to be the mother of a body and the mother of a soul. We mourn over the death of a child of ours. But it is only our grief. But for a soul which, we have endeavoured to perfect in Your Light and which dies, we do not suffer by ourselves. We suffer with You, with God... because in our grief for the spiritual death of a soul there is also Your sorrow, the infinite sorrow of God... I do not know whether I have made myself understood...» «Yes, you have. But give Me a precise account, if you want Me to comfort you.» «Yes, Master. You sent Simon Zealot and Judas of Kerioth to Bethany, did You not? It was in regard to that Jewish girl who was given to You by the Roman ladies and who was sent by You to Nike...» «Yes, I did. So?...» «And she wanted to say goodbye to her good mistresses, and Simon and Judas took her to the Antonia. Did You know?» «I did. Well?» «Master... I am afraid I must grieve You... Master, You are really only a spiritual King? You are not aiming at earthly kingdoms?» «Of course not, Johanna. How can you still doubt that?» «Master, only to have once again the joy of seeing You as a divine being, nothing but a divine being. And just because You are such, I must give deep sorrow to You... Master, the man from Kerioth does not understand You, neither does he understand those who respect You as a wise man, a great philosopher, as Virtue on the Earth, and admire You and promise to protect You as such. It is strange that heathen ladies should understand what one of Your apostles does not understand, after being such a long time with You...» «His human nature, his human love blind him.» «You excuse him... But he is injuring You, Master. While Simon was speaking to Plautina, Lydia and Valeria, Judas spoke to Claudia on Your behalf, as Your ambassador. He wanted to wring from her promises for the restoration of the kingdom of Israel. Claudia asked him many questions... And he told her a good lot. He certainly thinks that he is on the threshold of his silly dream, when a dream becomes reality. Master, Claudia was irritated. She is a daughter of Rome... The empire is in her blood... Is it possible that a daughter of the Claudi family would plot against Rome? She was so shocked that she began to doubt about You and the holiness of Your doctrine. She still cannot conceive or understand the holiness of Your Origin... But she eventually will, because she is full of good will. She will understand, when she is reassured about You. For the time being You seem a false greedy rebel and usurper to her... Plautina and the other ladies have tried to reassure her... But she wants an immediate reply from You.» «Tell her not to fear. I am the King of kings, I create them and judge them, and I will have no other throne but that of the Lamb, first sacrificed and then triumphant in Heaven. Let her know at once.» «Yes, Master. I will go personally. Before they leave Jerusalem, because Claudia is so irritated that she does not want to stay any longer at the Antonia, as she says... that she does not want to see the enemies of Rome.» «Who told you that?» «Plautina and Lydia. They came... and Chuza was present... and later... he put me in the dilemma: either You are the spiritual Messiah or I must leave You for good.» A sad smile appears on Jesus' face, which has turned pale with grief at the report of Johanna and He asks: «Is Chuza not coming here?» «Tomorrow is the Sabbath and he will come.» «And I will reassure him. Do not fear. Let no one fear. Chuza must not fear for his position at Court, or Herod for possible usurpations, or Claudia for the sake 398. At Bether. 434 of Rome, and you must not be afraid of being deceived or of the possibility of being separated... Let no one be afraid... I only must fear... and suffer...» «Master, I wish I could not have grieved You thus. But not informing You, would have been as good as deceiving You... Master, how will You behave with Judas?... I am afraid of his reactions... only and always for Your sake...» «With sincerity. I will make him understand that I know and that I disapprove of his action and his obstinacy.» «He will hate me because he will understand that I told You...» «Are you sorry for that?» «Your hatred would upset me. Not his. I am a woman. But I am more virile in serving You than is he. I serve You because I love You, not to receive favours from You. If because of You in future I should lose my wealth, the love of my husband, and my very freedom and life, I would love You even more. Because in that case I would have but You to love and to be loved by» says Johanna impulsively, standing up. Jesus also stands up and says: «May you be blessed, Johanna, for what you have said. And be in peace. Neither Judas' hatred nor his love can change what is written in Heaven. My mission will be accomplished, as it was decided. Feel no remorse, never. Be as tranquil as little Matthias, who after working to make a house − a nicer one, according to him − for his cricket, has fallen asleep with his forehead on petals of roses, and is smiling... thinking that it is on roses. Because life is beautiful when one is innocent. I also smile, even if My human life has no flowers, but only withered petals that have fallen. But in Heaven I shall have all the roses of those who have been saved... Come. Night is falling. We shall soon not be able to see the path.» Johanna is about to take the boy in her arms. «Leave him... I will take him. Look how he smiles! He is certainly dreaming of Heaven... of his mother... of you... I also, in My grief of every hour, dream of Heaven... of My Mother and of good women disciples.» And they slowly set out towards the house...
397. Farewell to Bethzur.
397. Farewell to Bethzur. 9th March 1946. It is hardly daybreak when the untiring walkers arrive in sight of Bethzur. Tired as they are, with their garments creased after an uncomfortable rest in a wood, they look at the little town now close at hand with joy, as they are sure that they will find hospitality there. The peasants going to work are the first to meet Jesus, and they wisely think that it is better to forget about their work and go back to town to listen to the Master. And some shepherds do likewise after asking whether He is going to stop in town. «I will leave Bethzur in the evening» replies Jesus. «And are You going to speak, Master?» «Certainly.» 397. Farewell to Bethzur. 429 «When?» «At once.» «We have our flocks... Could You not speak here, in the country? The sheep would graze and we would not miss Your word.» «Follow Me. I will speak in the pastures north of the town. I must see Eliza first.» With their sticks the shepherds make the sheep turn back and they follow the men with their bleating flocks. They go through the town. But the news has already reached Eliza's house. And it is in the square before the house that Eliza and Anastasica pay their homage of disciples to the Master, Who blesses them. «Come into my house, Lord. You relieved it of distress and now its inhabitants and everything in it wish to be of comfort to You» says Eliza. «Yes, Eliza. But do you see how many people are following us? I will now speak to everybody and later, after the third hour, I will come and stay in your house, and I will depart in the evening. And we will be able to talk to each other...» promises Jesus to console Eliza, who was hoping He would be staying longer and thus looks disappointed hearing Jesus' intentions But Eliza is a good disciple and does not object. She only asks to be allowed to give instructions to the servants, before following Jesus. And she does so quickly. She is quite different from the inert woman of the previous year... Jesus is standing in a large meadow on which the sun filters joyfully through the light leaves of forest-trees, which, if I am not mistaken, are ash-trees, and He is curing a boy and an old man, the former suffering from some internal disease, the latter from eye trouble. There are no other sick people, and Jesus blesses the little ones offered by their mothers, while waiting patiently for Eliza and Anastasica. They arrive at last. Jesus begins to speak at once. «People of Bethzur, listen. Last year I told you what is to be done to gain the Kingdom of God. I now wish to confirm it, so that you may not lose what you have earned. This is the last time that the Master speaks to you thus, in a meeting where no one is missing. Hereafter I may meet you by chance, one at a time, or in small groups, along the roads of our earthly fatherland. Later, much later, I will be able to see you in My Kingdom. But it will never be like this. In future you will be told many things of Me, against Me, of yourselves and against yourselves. They will try to terrorise you. I say to you with Isaiah: do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you and I have called you by your name. Only those who abandon Me, will have reason to fear. Not those, who being faithful, are Mine. Be not afraid! You are Mine and I am yours. Neither the waters of rivers, nor the fire of stakes, nor stones, nor swords will be able to separate you from Me, if you persevere in Me, on the contrary, fire, water, swords and stones will join you to Me more and more and you will be like Me and will receive My reward. I will be with you in the hours of torture, in your trials, I will be with you until the hour of death; and afterwards nothing will be able to separate us. Oh! My people! People whom I have called and gathered, whom I will call and gather even more when I am raised, drawing everything to Me, o chosen people, holy people, do not be afraid, because I am and will be with you and you will announce Me and will be therefore called My ministers, and I will give you, nay, I give you now, the order to speak to the north, south, east and west, to make everybody become the children of God, also those at the farthest borders of the world, so that everybody may recognise Me as their King and invoke Me by My true Name, and may partake of the glory for which they were created and may be the glory of Him Who created them and perfected them. Isaiah says that tribes and nations will invoke witnesses of My glory in order to believe. And where shall I find witnesses if the Temple and the Royal Palace, and the mighty castes hate Me and lie because they do not want to say that I am Who I am? Where shall I find them? Here are, My God, My witnesses! These people to whom I taught the Law, whose bodies and souls I cured, who were blind and now see, were deaf and now hear, were dumb and now can pronounce Your Name, these who were oppressed and have been freed, all these people to whom Your Word has been Light, Truth, Way and Life. You are My witnesses, servants chosen by Me that you may understand and believe and know that it is I. I am the Lord, the Saviour. Believe that for your own welfare. Apart from Me there is no other Saviour. Believe that regardless of human or satanic innuendoes. Forget everything else which you might have been told by a mouth that is not Mine and which differs from My word. Reject everything else which you 397. Farewell to Bethzur. 430 may be told in future. To anybody wishing you to abjure the Christ say: “His works speak to our souls” and persevere in your faith. I have done much to give you an intrepid faith. I cured your sick people and relieved your sorrows, I taught you like a good Master, I listened to you like a Friend, I broke bread with you and shared drinks with you. But those are still the deeds of a saint and a prophet. But I will work more and such deeds that will remove every doubt which darkness may raise, as a whirlwind raises stormy clouds in a clear summer sky. Let the cloud go by remaining firm in your love for your Jesus, for this Jesus Who left the Father to come and save you and Who will give His life to give you Health. You, whom I loved and I still love more than Myself, because there is no greater love than sacrificing oneself for the sake of those whom one loves, must not be inferior to those who in the prophecy of Isaiah are called wild beasts, dragons and ostriches, that is, heathens, idolaters, pagans, unclean people. Because when by Myself I witness the power of My love and of My Nature, defeating even Death by Myself − which is something that can be verified and no one will be able to deny, unless one is falsehood personified − they will say: “He was the Son of God!” and overcoming obstacles, apparently insurmountable, of centuries and centuries of filthy paganism, of darkness, of vice, they will come to the Light, to the Source, to Life. Be not like too many in Israel who do not offer Me holocausts, who do not honour Me with sacrifices, on the contrary they trouble Me with their iniquity and victimise Me with their hard hearts, and to My forgiving love they reply with their deceitful hatred, which undermines the ground to make Me fall and thus be able to say: “See? He fell because God struck Him.” Citizens of Bethzur, be strong. Love My word, because it is true, and love My Sign, because it is holy. May the Lord be always with you and may you be with the servants of the Lord, all together, so that each of you may be where I am going and an eternal abode may be made in Heaven for all those who, after overcoming affliction and winning the battle, die in the Lord and rise in the Lord forever!» «Lord, what do You mean? There are cries of triumph and cries of sorrow in Your words!» say some citizens. «Yes. You are like one who is surrounded by his enemies» other people remark. «And You almost infer that we shall be, too» others say. «What is there in Your future, Lord?» ask some. «Glory!» shouts Judas of Kerioth. «Death!» whispers Eliza sighing and weeping. «Redemption. The fulfillment of My mission. Be not afraid. Do not weep. Love Me. I am happy to be the Redeemer. Come, Eliza. Let us go to your house...» and He is the first to set out, squeezing through the crowd, which is upset by contrasting emotions. «But why, Lord, do You always deliver such speeches?» asks Judas grumbling and reproaching. And he adds: «They do not befit a king.» Jesus does not reply to him. He instead replies to His cousin James who asks Him, with tears shining in his eyes: «Brother, why do You always quote passages of the Bible in Your farewell speeches?» «So that those accusing Me may not say that I talk nonsense or I blaspheme, and those who do not want to yield to the reality of facts may realise that from the very beginning Revelation has always shown Me as the King of a Kingdom that is not human, but is intended, built and cemented by the immolation of the Victim, of the only Victim capable of re-creating the Kingdom of Heaven, destroyed by Satan and the First Parents. Pride, hatred, falsehood, lust, disobedience destroyed it. Humility, obedience, love, purity, sacrifice will rebuild it... Do not weep, woman. Those whom you love and who are waiting, are pining for the hour of My immolation...» They enter the house and while the apostles are busy refreshing themselves and appeasing their appetite, Jesus goes into the tidy flowery garden with Eliza, who says to Him: «Master, I am the only one who knows that Johanna wants to speak to You secretly. She sent Jonathan to me. He said: “For very grave matters”. Not even the daughter You gave me − and may You be blessed for Your gift − knows about it. Johanna sent servants everywhere looking for You. But they could not find You...» «I was very far away, and I would have gone even farther, if My spirit had not urged Me to come back... Eliza, you will come with Me and the Zealot to Johanna's. The others will remain here for two days' rest and then they will come to Bether. You will come back here with Jonathan.» «Yes, my Lord...» Eliza looks at Him with motherly love, she scans His face. She cannot help saying: «Are You suffering?» Jesus shakes His head and although His gesture is not denial it is a clear sign of 397. Farewell to Bethzur. 431 depression. «I am a mother... You are my God... but... Oh! my Lord! What do You think Johanna wants? You have been speaking of death, and I understood because in the Temple the virgins often read the Scriptures which mention You Saviour, and I remember those words. You were speaking of death and Your face was shining with heavenly joy... But it is not shining now... Mary was like a daughter to me... and You are Her Son... So, if it is not a sin to say so, I see You somehow as my son... Your Mother is far away... But a mother is beside You. Blessed Son of God, can I not relieve Your grief?» «You are already relieving it, because You love Me. What do I think about what Johanna wants to tell Me? My life is like this rosery. You good women disciples are the roses. But if you take the roses away, what is left? Thorns...» «But we will remain with You until death.» «That is true. Until death! And the Father will bless you for the comfort you give Me. Let us go home and rest. At sunset we will leave for Bether.»
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